Page 43 of Savage Torment

“Not good enough,” she barks, and I’m sure I hear someone snicker. More than that, I can feel it in my chest, just a twinge, but it’s hard to confirm over the fury radiating from Juniper.

“Give her a break. She needs to breathe,” Bryony calls out, coming to my defense for the second time since this all began, and Juniper’s angry stare whips her way.

“No, she needs to learn.”

“She’s not learning anything like this,” Bryony insists, but Juniper pays her no mind as she turns back to me.

“You need to focus, Polaris. Try again.” I blink, the movement sluggish as the weight of the world descends with the closing of my eyelids, but forcing them back open is even more difficult. “Say the motions out loud as you perform them. Draw strength from it,” she adds, and I sigh in resignation.

“Sand,” I start, clenching my fist tightly around the grains clumped together in my hand. “Close my eyes,” I add, breathless as I follow my own command. The room goes dark, but the rigidness that pains my limbs doesn’t subside like it did the first time I tried. Now, I’m locked into a state of despair, and it’s not helping my abilities.

“Explore the darkness,” Juniper calls out, and I want to scream at her to shut the hell up, but it won’t do any good; I’ve already told her three times to no avail.

Instead, I follow her instructions, my head pulsating with every beat of my heart as I navigate the darkness.

“Memores. Cogitationes. Intentio.”

Three words on repeat, just a movement of my lips without sound at this stage, but it helps tremendously.

It feels like I’m back in that moment when Blaze and the wolf were fighting on the lawn. Back then, I was scared and confused about what was happening to my body. Now, I can sense the emotions and feelings in the room, just as I did so intensely in that moment; yet instead of being overwhelmed by sensations I couldn’t understand, I remain grounded. Strong.

Light flickers across the backs of my eyelids and a pale shadow casts over the darkness, mirroring the energy in the room. The students are wisps in my mind. All white. Only Juniper stands out in a different color.

Red.

She’s taught me the colors to watch for.

Blue for calm.

Green for fear.

Yellow for love.

Red for rage.

She’s burning with it.

It’s so bright that no one else exists beyond the white outline in comparison, which apparently means nothing to her.

“What do you see?”

“Just you,” I grind out, my body aching with tension as she huffs, and even the illusion of her in my mind slaps her hands at her sides, just as I assume the woman before me does, the sound echoing around me.

“Take five.”

I collapse onto the floor, my knees buckling under me, but I manage to catch myself on my palms.

“Are you okay?” Bryony asks a moment later as I feel a hand on my back. I don’t waste energy tilting my head to look at her. I’m drained, completely spent, and— “Shit, ignore me. Stupid question,” she mutters. Despite the disaster I’m drowning in, a whisper of a smile skims my lips for a moment. “Here, I’ve got some water for you.”

A cool bottle presses against my arm and I lift my hand blindly to take it from her. Thankfully, I hear her twist the lid before bringing it to my lips, sighing with relief as the icy liquid touches my tongue.

“Thank you,” I rasp, finally managing to pry my eyes open again, and she offers me a tight smile.

“If it makes you feel any better, she used to do this to Lucille a lot too.”

“It doesn’t make me feel any better,” I reply honestly with a defeated smile.

“Let’s go, Polaris. You’ve had enough time. All you’re doing here is making a spectacle of yourself,” Juniper grunts, and my gaze snaps to hers, my neck tightening from the quick movement.

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