Page 7 of Much Ado About Hockey

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KAREN

Maybe this was a mistake.

Maybe she should have thought this through, but things moved so quickly that Karen was standing in front of the magistrate’s office with this stranger putting his hands on her shoulders, drawing her into his arms, and kissing her.

And then it was done.

Welcome, Doubt.

It’s about time you showed up…

“Jett…”

“Yo, I cannot believe you’re a Karen.”

“Hang on now…”

“I think it’s funny that my Karen, who isn’t a Karen, is named Karen – of all the weird things,” he chuckled to himself like that sentence made sense to him and everyone around him.

Jett, her new husband, was clutching the marriage decree like it was his Golden Ticket to Wonkaland. He was smiling, looking so relieved, and texting someone while they were walking toward where their two cars were parked.

“Whew, am I relieved that is done. I need to call my Mom and brother. Boy, are they going to be shocked when I tell them the news and that I’m moving.”

“Um, don’t you think we should sit down and talk about what comes next?” Karen asked warily, standing awkwardly between the two cars. She wasn’t sure if she should follow him somewhere or if she should invite him over to her place, but parting seemed out of the question. She was tied to him legally now, and it was unsettling because so much was just, well, unanswered.

“Oh sure… sure,” Jett chuckled and shoved his phone in his pocket, putting a hand on his hip. “Ask away. Whatcha want to talk about, Wifey-pooh?”

She cringed.

“Um, first, that nickname,” Karen began. “Secondly, we need to talk about Quebec and this marriage.”

“Ah, um, yeah, we probably should. How about dinner tomorrow night? Let me get more facts about what is…”

“No,” Karen interrupted flatly, completely horrified as she stared at him. “We’re going to talk tonight and exchange some information, lay out a plan, and then discuss a few things because I feel like I’m walking blindly into a fog and being told to tread water.”

“That doesn’t make sense,” Jett chuckled. “How can you walk and tread water when…”

“Jett!”

“What? Don’t yell at me,” he replied, frowning. “We’ve been married ten minutes, and you are already showing me your namesake? Don’t go Karen on me,Karen… which is why I called you Babe or Wifey-pooh, but if you don’t like any of those, then what do you want me to call you?”

“Karen – and I’m not yelling.”

“You raised your voice.”

“I feel the need to raise it again…” she warned, frowning at him. “Where do you live?”

“Are you going to be some weird stalker fangirl?”

“Oh my heavens – we just got married!”

“Oh yeah…”

“Have you taken a puck to the face?”

“Twice. It hurt like a solid-biscuit, but I had that tooth pulled and an implant put in so my smile stayed pretty and…”

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