Page 71 of Tell Me You Love Me

“Shut up.”

When Franky’s brows shoot high on his forehead, I point back at my ears to let him know that was for her, not him. Then I turn and take my next load toward shelf eleven. “You’re a pain in my ass, Fox. You almost got me in trouble with my own kid.”

“How does it feel to raise a forty-year-old man? Shoot.” She gasps and jumps, the jingling bell from a messenger bike echoing through the line. “Ride on the road like everyone else, jackass! Get out of my damn way!”

“You should come to Plainview.” I find shelf eleven and scour the books my son has already stacked in the order he wants them. “It doesn’t take more than ten minutes to driveanywhere.”

“And risk chicken poo on my shoes?” She scoffs. “No, thanks. I’m a city girl, Alana Bette. You know this about me.”

“New York stresses you out. It’s busy and crowded and smelly.”

“And always has somewhere open to eat,” she counters. “Never gets quiet. Never gets dark. Multiculturalism is beautiful. I bet Plainview folks all have the exact same skin color.”

“I mean?—”

“Exactly. Which means they probably have just one boring ass flavor of food and no inclination to try anything else. New York is a boiling pot of music and scent and color and life. Everyone is friendly. Which, I know, sounds weird since small towns aresupposedto be friendlier.”

“They romanticize places like this,” I confess. “Like everyone knows everyone, which means they’re all friends. But in reality, no one likesanyone,and everyone likes to gossip.”

“Exactly! So why in the world would I come there? There’s nothing there for me.”

Ouch.

My heart thuds with a deep ache, sorrow stealing my smile and forcing me back to my childhood.Not good enough. Not important enough. Not worthy enough.

Not even for my best friend.

“Franky’s starting school in a few days, and I made an offer on the shop.” Dejected, I grab the books at the top of the pile and begin shelving. “My mom’s health is declining, and I just… This is where our lives are now, Fox. We can’t leave. And maybe it’s a shitty town right now, but that’s because the same old people live here. The same families. The same elders. The businesses are run by the same people, the town council has all the same faces, and traditions have been in place for the last hundred years. Nothing can change unless something changes.”

“That’s why they call those places backwards. As in, nothing ever progresses forward.”

“Right. But the older folks will eventually die off.”

She chokes out a laugh. “Savage!”

“They had kids, who had kids, who are having kids. And I know, in my experience, anyway, a lot of the people I went to school with are less tolerant of the same old shit. Some are moving away to escape it. Others stayed and are opening their own businesses. The local pediatrician isn’t eighty-seven years old anymore, and he doesn’t subscribe to the idea that rubbing dirt on a staph infection will fix it.”

She snorts. “Sounds like a good way to speed up Plainview’s evolution.”

“People like my mom would have the rest of the world believe this town is scandal-free and entirely tooproper. But the new pediatrician—who is also oncology, and orthopedics, and immunizations, and every other specialty too, because he’s the only doctor in this town—well, I went to school with him, and on the night of our prom, he was arrested by his own father for running along Main Street in the nude.”

She laughs. “He sounds fun.”

“Yeah…” Memories wash over me like water lapping at a sandy beach. Coming closer. Closer. Closer. “You know about him, Fox. You’ve read the book, remember?”

Her laughter cuts off with a gurgle. Her breath stuttering. “Him? The one Tommy had to bail out?”

“Mmhm.” I move to my knees and carefully place books on the lower shelves. “I’m just saying, yes, Plainview sucks. But there’s a chance it won’talwayssuck. And if you visit, you can stay at a house that has no chickenpoo. Maybe.” I snicker. “I’d have to ask around. But I’m sure I’ll find somewhere.”

“I’ll consider it.” The tick-tick-tick of a pedestrian crossing plays through my headphones, though people rarely pay attention to those in New York City. “So you’re casually banging your old flame. Youhaven’ttold him your massive secret. Annnnnd, Helen?”

“Is still trying to mother me. She insists I’m making rash business decisions that I’ll someday regret. But I told her to pull the book. Officially.” I move away from sweet romance and come to the darker, grittier stories with covers that convey exactly the content written within the pages. “I’ve formally declined Elyte’s offer and told Helen to tell them the book is no longer available for sale. It would kill Tommy if the story got out. It would destroy him and Chris, and I’m not willing to be the reason they’re hurt.”More.“I’m especially not ready for it to be read and picked apart by the masses.”

“So that’s it? You’re putting your dreams of being published in the trash?”

“Not in the trash. Just on hold. My life here will be busy for the next few years, getting Franky from elementary to middle, and then middle to high school. I intend to buy the store and turn it into something kind of special. Things between me and Tommy are…”

“Hot?”

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