Page 77 of Tell Me You Love Me

He doesn’t mean harm, and neither Watkins boy takes offense. But in my heart and mind, I know Tommy wasn’t given a fair chance. He lost half his education to broken bones and too little energy due to too little food. And the other half, he was treated poorly by the teachers and so often punished for being behind instead of congratulated for overcoming horrible circumstances in the first damn place.

My baby can’t know that.

But I do. And Tommy does, too.

He looks my way, massaging my tense thigh, and winks. It’s an ‘it’s cool’ wink.

“Do you play any instruments?” He fixes his face and looks back at my son. “Guitar, maybe? Piano? Or maybe you’re gonna try out for theater?”

In response, Franky pokes a finger into his mouth and mock-gags.

“Theater is literal, legal child abuse,” Chris inserts playfully. “It’s fine for those kids who like it and all, but for the ones who don’t…” He shakes his head. “No one should be forced onto a damn stage just because the state made it part of the curriculum.”

“Remember when Mrs. Tower made you try out for Hamlet?” I grab my wine and snicker at the memory. “There was no reason for her to do that except to make you feel like crap.”

“She was mad because I might’ve said something about her sweater the week before.” He looks at Franky. “It was a pea-green color. Super ugly and frumpy and loose. But the color?—”

“Like vomit?”

“Yes! Exactly. And I wasn’t even trying to be mean. I see what I see, and I say what I think. She mentioned the stain on my hoodie, ‘cos I don’t know if your mom told you, but me and Tommy came from a pretty poorfamily. I had this one favorite hoodie that I liked to wear a lot, but it got a stain on it at lunch that day. We had Mrs. Tower’s class after, and she made a whole big deal about it until everyone stopped to stare.”

Franky’s eyes narrow with disdain. “That’s bullying.”

“Well…” Chris shrugs. “Where we come from, the adults were allowed to do whatever they wanted, and it was calledauthority figures, anddo as I say, not as I do. She was flapping on about my hoodie and making me feel like shit. Your mom stepped up for me, actually. She tried to get the teacher to shut the hell up. But your mom had to be careful, too, because ifhermom found out she was being sassy, she’d get in big trouble.”

Searching for confirmation, Franky looks at me.

So I nod.It’s true.

“Anyway. Tower was yapping, yapping, yapping. And I just happened to mention the color of her sweater.”

“And next thing we know,” Tommy adds happily, “Chris is the worst Hamlet who ever stepped on a stage. She’s still teaching to this day.” He strokes my thigh under the table, flicking my fingers when I try to brush him off. “But don’t worry. If she’s still around when you get to high school, me, Chris, and your mom will head on in and let her know what’s up.”

“You make it sound like we’re going to shake her down,” I laugh. I meet Franky’s eyes. “If she’s still teaching when you get to high school, Mommy will talk to her.Withouther muscled entourage. I’ll make sure she knows you have no desire to play Hamlet, or any other character, on stage.”

“What if she tries to make me?” His eyes glisten with emotion. “What if she talks about my clothes in front of the whole class and says I have to be in the play, even after you talk to her?”

“Baseball bat,” Chris and Tommy speak as one. Then Tommy adds, “You don’t ask questions, buddy. Then she won’t have to lie. You just trust that the situation has been taken care of.”

“Good lord.” I shove his hand off and glare. “Can you stop? You’ll have my son thinking I work for the mob, and that old lady is gonna lose her kneecaps if she keeps up with her shit.”

“It’s who you are, Alana Page.” He flashes a teasing grin, chipping away at the armor I try so hard to place between us. “You take care of the people you love. It doesn’t matter who the enemy is, and it doesn’t matter how scary they are. You protect.”

I protect.

It’s what I do.

“Besides,” he quips. “You learned a long time ago how to take care ofbusiness quietly and cleanly. It was a defense mechanism, knowing that ifIhad to step in, it would be loud, messy, and likely end with me in cuffs.”

Exactly.

Which is why I left all those years ago without saying goodbye. Because telling the truth would end in cuffs.

That’s the damn problem.

Seven forty-five approaches, and the sun settles amongst the trees surrounding Tommy’s property. Rays bounce off the water, creating a kind of diamond sparkle that covers the grass and turns dusk into magic.

It takes a young girl’s memories, where love was allowed, grown, and celebrated, and mixes it with what’s left now.

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