Page 63 of Bourbon and Lies

“I don’t know, Grant. There’s something going on with my contacts up there. Everyone is up in arms about some high-profile shit going on. Nobody wanted to say too much. There wasn’t anything being said about a missing person, perp, or an asset that meets Laney’s description.”

That doesn’t add up. If she was in the system and tied to Bea, Del would have found it. Fiasco is for tourists and townies—but she was neither. So why here? There were thousands of other places she could have been placed. I pat Del on the back. “Appreciate you looking for me.”

“Anytime. You know that.” He clears his throat. “Are you asking because she’s gotten close with your family, or is there another reason?”

“Can I be honest and tell you I don’t know how I want to answer that right now?” I’m not ready to have this conversation. Hell, I need to have one with Laney before I share anything more with Del.

He drums his knuckles against the tabletop. “Alright. I’m here when you’re ready, then. See you on Thursday?”

I give him a nod as he walks away. “Sounds good, Del.” I was hoping that’d be the case. That he wouldn’t end up resenting me for moving on. Suddenly, I feel like I can breathe easier.

When I turn back, Hadley’s moving toward two guys who are asking her something in the middle of the dance floor. And as soon as they start grinding up on each other, it leaves Laney swaying by herself just as the song shifts to something slower.A deeper drum beat and meandering piano riff have her smiling uncomfortably as she looks around.

I lean on the table, taking a sip of my lukewarm beer.

Lincoln comes back next to me and mimics my move.

Both of us watch Laney as she sways by herself, paired-off couples filling in around her.

“I’m about to go out there and dance with that beautiful woman...”

The fuck he is.I glare at my brother before I look back at the dance floor. I’m at war with myself between what I want and if I can accept the fact that I’m allowed to want it.

“After I decked Waz the other night, I wandered into Hooch’s.” I side-glance at him. “I forgot it was Fi’s birthday.” Taking a breath, I crack my knuckles. “I felt like a piece of shit for not remembering.”

“Jesus, Grant.” He drags his hand through his hair. “You think remembering someone means you have to stop living. I don’t know when you decided that was the rule. I’ll tell you right now, if Fiona or Olivia were standing here and heard that you paused your life after they lost theirs, they’d fucking slap you.”

I bark a laugh. He’s right, they would.

“You don’t have to choose. You loved someone. But you’re still here. You can do whatever you want, you’re a big boy now.” He looks from my face to my feet. “You bulked up, that’s for sure.”

“Go fuck yourself,” I laugh out.

“I’m fucked up in my own way, but Laney got to you. You’re different since she’s been here. And not in a bad way. In a way where I’m starting to remember why I like my baby brother again.”

I take a pull of my beer, shaking my head. “Whatever she’s hiding and lying about, Linc, it’s going to make a mess. I can feel it.”

He exhales and stares at me. “All of us are lying about something, Grant. We do it to get through the cards we’ve been dealt. And you’ve been cleaning up after Ace and me for years now. Since when are you scared about a little mess?”

“Feels like it’s been you guys looking out for me, not the other way around.”

He takes a sip of his small glass of clear liquid that I’m guessing is moonshine. “That’s not the Grant I know. The one I know listens and lets the rest of us look good. He’s the guy who knew that coming back home was what we needed.” He clears his throat. “It was what I needed in order to stop unraveling and start healing. You’ve always been the best of us, Grant. And the best of us would go for it.” He looks up and out over the river, and on an exhale says, “Life’s too unpredictable to worry how tidy itshouldbe.” He nudges my arm with his elbow. “Get messy.”

It sounds simple. Go for it. Live and enjoy. Pick up the pieces if they fall, but I’m already fucking scared out of my mind I’m just going to lose her.

He tosses back what’s left of his drink and claps his hands. “And life is too short to watch.”

I know what he’s going to say. The same way I know he’s about to make a move on a woman who has completely taken over my thoughts, and I can’t let that happen. I drain the rest of my beer.

“So I’m going to take my shot?—”

“Dibs,” I cut him off, and I don’t look back. He knew that was all the push I needed. There was no way I was going to watch him dance with her.

I’ve made up my mind. I choose messy.

When I get a few feet from the dance floor, I find her. Her eyes are focused down just as she’s about to hit the edge where the wood of the floor meets the grass. But she never makes itthere, because I slide my hand into hers and hold on tight as I keep walking. The momentum turns her to follow me back to the center of the dance floor. Stopping in a small space where there’s room between couples swaying, I turn around to face her and pull her hand closer to guide her body into my arms.Right where you belong, honey.

Her eyes search mine, asking what I’m doing or where I might have come from. I grip her hand tighter and close any gaps left between us. Tilting her head back, she stands on her tiptoes as we sway in time with the band. “You disappeared on me,” she says, calling me out exactly as she should.

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