Page 28 of Cartel Cobra

Her eyes widen before she looks away. She tries to get off my lap, but I tighten my hold around her.

“Say it, Lucy.”

She shakes her head.

“You were going to say it earlier tonight. You almost did it again. Say it.”

She pulls her lips between her teeth, but that doesn’t stop me from kissing her. She relents immediately, opening to me as my tongue invades her mouth. My fingertips trail over her hip until I press her legs open. Her pussy is so damn hot and wet. I slide my ring finger between her pussy lips, but I don’t enter her. I tease her.

“You’re right. I’m not your father. Does anything I’m doing make you think of one?”

“No, Este.”

“You know it doesn’t mean the same thing.”

“It’s too fucked-up.”

“Because I’ve sworn to protect you. To take care of you. Because I have since we met. Because I’m bigger than you and stronger than you. Because I care about you. That’s too fucked-up?”

“You know that’s not what I mean. I’ve never said it before. Not ever. To no one.”

“That’s because it isn’t a Spanish term.”

She stares at me, and something passes between us.

“Chica, I’m not going anywhere. I will never betray you or your family. I wouldn’t do that to you, and I wouldn’t do that to your brother.”

“How are you so damn certain?”

“How’re you so certain you’d never fall in love with Domingo?”

“Don’t say his name. I never want to hear it again. I just know I can’t.”

“If you’re so positive of something you can’t do, why can’t I be so positive of something I can do?”

“I’ve known him for over a year. I’ve known you a week.”

“Have you though? How many stories did you hear about Enrique and me when you knew me as Steven?”

“Tons.”

“How many times did you send extra bags of limón Chiclitos, so Enrique could share them with his friend Steven? You knew they were his favorite treat from home.”

“I didn’t know that was for you.”

“I used to crave the lemon- or lime-flavored corn chips when I first moved to the States because I was homesick. I didn’t move away from home as young as Enrique and Luis because I went to private schools here. It was complete culture shock when I moved up there. Your brother told you that, so you used to add extra treats in the packages you sent. You used to tape notes on them that said ‘sólo para Steven.’ You would tease Enrique about how he and I loved comic books and watched all the seasons of the same medical drama three times. You know I graduated a year early just like he did. You know I’m an only child who grew up in Medellín. You know more about me than you realize.”

She stares at me before nodding.

“You know a lot about me, too. You know I’m stubborn, but Enrique is one of the few people who can get me to agree to just about anything. You know I hate being reminded I’m the baby of the family when the three of them tease me. You know my favorite colors are green and purple because you always made sure the thank you cards you emailed had lilacs or violets on them. You know how homesick I was when I first moved to LA. You sent what probably should have been a year’s supply ofAchira del Huilafor me because you knew my favorite snack. No one else in my dorm had ever had anything like them before. They all wanted the crispy cheese sticks, but I ate them all in three weeks. I nearly puked every day after soccer practice, but I devoured them. You sent me more for Christmas. You sent me an autographed ‘El Pibe” jersey for my graduation two months ago. Even Enrique didn’t know how you got one of them from Carlos Valderama since it definitely didn’t come from eBay or some other online auction site. Do you know more about me? Have you had an advantage since the cafe? Is that?—”

“Chica, Enrique isn’t one to keep family photos around, and neither am I. I saved the one I showed you of Enrique and me on an encrypted cloud. It’s not safe for the people we care about. I met you in passing when you were like fourteen. You were my best friend’s kid sister, but nothing more. Humberto wanted information about you, and I wanted to keep my promise to Enrique that I’d watch out for you once Humberto started poking around. I had no idea I’d react to you the way I did.”

She stares at me and nods.

“I feel the same. In some ways, I feel like I barely know you because you’re Este to me, but then I remind myself that you’re also Steven. That makes you feel so familiar.”

“You’re Luciana if I think of you as Enrique’s little sister back when we were in college. But you’re Lucy to me. You’re also mychiquita. Am I really only Este to you?”

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