Page 147 of Ruin Me Gently

I gasped, but the air barely made it in. My arms were numb. My legs unsteady. I was going to die. Right there, in my own living room, while Lilith slept in my bed, falling apart because ofme.

My hands shook as I yanked my phone from my pocket, nearly dropping it as I fumbled to unlock it.

I stared at Finn’s name, thumb twitching over his number. I didn’t want to call him. But I had to. Because Icouldn’t do this.

The phone barely rang twice before he picked up. “Dude! You’re alive! Not succumbed to the plague yet?”

“I—” my voice cracked. I swallowed, tried again. “I need you to come over. Please.”

Silence. Just for a second.

“I’m on my way.”

My head hung heavy in my hands, elbows digging into the kitchen island so hard they ached. My weight pressed into it, arms bracing against the cold marble as I tried to keep myself upright. My eyes were raw and burning, swollen from wiping them too many times.

Hold it together. Just hold it together.

The soft mechanical chime of the elevator rung through the penthouse.

I didn’t move.

Not when the doors slid open. Not when quick, urgent footsteps pounded across the hardwood floor.

Finn was panting like he’d run here. Like hefeltwhatever was breaking inside me and couldn’t waste a second getting to me.

I lookedup at him. His tie was loosened, hanging crooked, the knot a tangled mess. His hair stuck up at odd angles, like he’d dragged his hands through it over and over again. His gaze moved over me, scanning every inch.

“Jesus, man. What the hell happened?” He crossed the space between us, hands flexing at his sides.

My breath hitched hard, the sound ugly and ragged as the tears came again. I covered my face, pressing my palms hard against my eyes like that could somehow stop the flood.

“Shit.” Finn said as he wrapped his arms around me, like he was holding me together by sheer force alone. My chest caved in on itself as the sobs broke free, louder than I wanted. I clenched my fists into his shirt, gripping like it was the only solid thing in the room.

“It’s okay,” he murmured. “It’s okay. I’m here. Breathe.”

I tried. I really fucking tried.

He didn’t move, didn’t pull away, just stood there, holding me through it, letting me break until I wrung out, empty and drained.

He loosened his hold, stepping back enough to give me space, watching me carefully. “Sit down.”

I didn’t argue, just let go of his shirt, hands falling limp at my sides as I sank onto one of the stools. My elbows braced against the marble, head hanging low as I focused on the simple, brutal task of breathing.

He moved around the kitchen, the sound of the coffee grinder and the quiet drip of the machine starting up filling the silence.

A few minutes later, a mug clinked down in front of me, and I wrapped my hands around it, letting the heat seep into my palms. The ache rose higher than last time, the words tangling around my ribs, but I forced them out. “It happened again.”

His brows knit together as he sat next to me and placed his mug down carefully. “What do you mean? What happened again?”

I didn’t even know what to say. I didn’t even know where to start. The only word that came out was her name. “Lilith.”

His brows furrowed deeper. “Lilith? What does that mean?”

I stayed silent, fingers tightening around the coffee mug, blood rushing through my ears.

He sighed, shifting in his seat. “You need to talk to me, man. I can’t help you if you don’tactuallytalk to me.”

Right. He didn’t know.

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