Page 148 of Ruin Me Gently

I’d kept her locked tight inside my chest, hidden away in some shame-riddled vault. Not shame of Lilith, shame for how I’d gone about things. From how I’d fucked it all up from the start.

“She’s a woman I… got involved with,” I said, barely above a whisper. “Finn, I let her in, and it all went so wrong. So, so wrong.”

I paused, throat locking up as a sob threatened to bubble out of me, but I swallowed it down.

“She was hurt.Badly.It…” The words scraped against my throat like glass. “It wasn’t. It—”

“What do you mean she was hurt?”

“It happened again,” I muttered.

Finn’s frustration cracked through. “I don’t know what that means, Silas.” He stared at me, eyes sharp, searching for minutes on end, and then his face paled slightly, breath catching. “Oh.Oh.”His chair scraped against the floor as he sat up straighter. “Oh,shit.No. Is she—”

He couldn’t finish. He didn’t have to.

‘Is she dead?’

The thought was a fist to my chest. I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head, trying to block out the mental image of what that would look like—Lilith cold and lifeless,gone.

“No,” I said, my voice hoarse. “No, she’s alive. She’s still here.”

The breath rushed out of him, relief flashing across his face before his hand reached out to grip my arm. “Then what, man?” he asked quietly. “What the hell’s going on?”

“I was right,” I muttered. “That’s what’s going on.”

Finn’s brow furrowed. “Right aboutwhat?”

An unrecognisable, bitter laugh broke from me. “She got close to me, and she got hurt.”

“Right,” he said as he released my arm. “Break it down for me, please.”

I had to push the shame away, get over myself.

Everything tumbled out like an oil spill.

Every detail. Every dirty little secret.

From the first time I saw her at the gala, to the watching, the gifts, the texts, the pushing the pulling.

And then Clark.

The alley.

The blood.

The way she was lying in my bed right now, completely detached from the world, slipping into herself like she was disappearing.

By the time I was done, my breathing was ragged again, hands trembling against the countertop.

Finn didn’t speak. He just stared at me.

“I toldyou,” I said, my voice like sandpaper. “I let someone in. And she got hurt. I didn’t even let her all the way in. And look what happened, she doesn’t even—”

“Silas. Stop.Now.” Finn’s voice sliced through mine.

I shook my head, gripping the edge of the counter. “You don’t get it, Finn.”

“‘No.Youdon’t get it.” He squared his shoulders like he was about to go to war—withme. “I’m sorry that happened, dude. Iam.But we’re done being gentle with this. I’ve been soft on you for too long. Pandering to your belief system. We’re doing harsh truths now.” His jaw clenched, eyes burning into mine. “You’re gonna shut your mouth. And you are going tolistento me.”

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