Page 179 of Ruin Me Gently

My free hand slid up, splaying against the back of her neck. “Look at me.”

She did. Those wide eyes locking right onto mine.

“Silas,” she gasped, her thighs trembling slightly around me, her hands sliding up to tighten in my hair.

“I’ve got you, sweetheart,” I murmured, lips brushing against hers as I kept up the slow rhythm. I wanted to take my time. Savour her. Feel every little reaction, every small gasp, every subtle movement.

I slid two fingers inside her and she moaned, her head dropping against my shoulder as she rolled into my touch.

“That’s it,” I whispered, pressing a kiss to the side of her neck. “Just let me feel you.”

I curled my fingers inside her, pressing against that perfect spot. She was soaking me, my fingers, my palm, my lap. And every time she rocked her hips, the back of my knuckles grazed against my cock where it strained against my pants.

It was torture.Perfect, devastating torture.

“Silas—”

“Guardati,” I murmured. “Fucking yourself on my fingers. Take it. Use me.”

She let out a choked sound, her fingers digging into my scalp. “I want more.”

I stilled for just a second.

My cock throbbed, so hard it hurt. Every nerve in my body screamed at me to give her exactly what she needed.

“We can’t,” I said, voice tight and controlled even as I curled my fingers deeper, dragging another broken whimper from her lips.

She gasped, rocking into me. “Why not?”

I groaned, forehead pressing into her neck as I kept working her open, my fingers moving faster, coaxing her higher. “I don’t have protection.”

“Why—”

I didn’t let her finish. I crashed my mouth to hers, swallowing her question, kissing her deep, desperate, needing her tostop thinkingfor a second.

“Now’s not the time for discussions,” I said as I thrust my fingers into her harder.

“Can I touch you? Please, I need to at least touch you,” she panted.

She never had before. I’d never let her. Never let her wrap those soft fingers around me. Never let her feel just how wreckedshe made me. But the barriers were down. She knewme now, and everything was fine.

I dragged my lips along her jaw. “Yes.”

I moved before I could think, pulling my hand from between her thighs, lifting her off my lap in one fluid motion and setting her down on the edge of my desk.

She was a vision. Wide eyes, lips kiss-swollen, my T-shirt hanging loose on her, the hem barely covering the soaked heat between her legs.

My jaw clenched tight as she settled in front of me. I didn’t know what to do. I’d touched her so many times. Had memorised every sound she made, every way her body responded to me. Had spent so much time craving her, worshipping her, needing her in ways I could barely explain.

But this? Her touching me? This was new.

She slowly, carefully, pulled my sweatpants down, taking my boxers with them, and the cool air hit my cock.

She lifted her gaze back to mine and I swallowed hard against the tightness in my throat as I gave her a single, slow nod.

Giving her permission.

Giving hereverything.

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