Page 190 of Ruin Me Gently

But I didn’t let him finish. I straddled him, lined him up, and sank down.

A ragged, guttural groan tore from his throat as his hands snapped to my waist.

I squeezed my eyes shut, my own moan slipping free.

Fuck.

So full.

So much.

“Gesù Cristo, Lilith—” his voice was a wrecked, desperate thing.

I sat there, breathing too shallow, like my lungs had forgotten how to work properly. My pulse was erratic, not from the way he filled me, not from the way he stretched me—but fromthis.

From what I was about to do.

My fingers curled tight around the hem of my shirt, so tight my knuckles ached. I couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t think. For my whole life, I’d made sure no one saw. I’d hidden behind layers, behind anything that kept me from feeling exposed. And now, I was about to lay it all out for him.

And I was so fucking scared.

“You don’t have to.” His voice was low as his hands covered mine, and something in it ripped through me.

It was like he knew exactly what this meant. Like he knew it wasn’t just my body I was revealing. That it was every piece of me I’d spent years trying to keep hidden. I swallowed hard, forcing myself to breathe through the panic curling up my ribs.

This wasSilas.The only person who had ever made me feel safe. The only person I’d wanted to give all of myself to.

“I want to,” I whispered.

My hands shookslightly as I took a slow breath, then peeled the sopping shirt over my head, and let it drop to the floor.

I was bare. Exposed. Nothing left to hide behind. The soft stretch marks that lined my hips and waist, light and silver, but still there. The faint ridges of old scars that littered my stomach, some barely visible, others etchings of pain I’d once tried to carve out of myself.

I braced for disgust. For pity. For anything that might make me regret this.

“Fuck. You’re beautiful.” His gaze traced over me, dark and fathomless, and before I could overthink or shrink away, he moved.

His lips met my stomach in a soft, lingering kiss. Then another. Then another. One for every mark. One for every scar. One for every night I’d spent alone in the dark, hating the body I lived in.

A choked breath escaped me, my fingers tangling in his hair as he moved higher, kissing between my ribs, before trailing to the valley between my breasts.

His tongue flicked out, grazing over my nipple. His groan vibrated against my skin as his fingers found the other, rolling it between his thumb and forefinger, pinching firmly enough to send fire licking down my spine.

The emotion was overwhelming and all-consuming. It wasn’t fear or shame, it was something else entirely. Something that made my chest tight, my throat thick, my body ache for more. And before I could second guess the way he was looking at me like I was something holy—I planted my hands on his chest, letting the heat of his skin and the hammer of his chest beneath my palms melt into me, and began to ride him. Slow at first, testing the motion, getting lost in the drag and stretch of him inside me.

His head tipped back, hands gripping my hips, guiding me, helping me move. “Fuck—just like that, sweetheart.”

The words sent a bolt of heat straight through me, and my movements grew bolder and faster, into a rhythm that had me both unravelling and clinging to him all at once.

“Look at you, goddamn,you feel so good,” he groaned.

Leaning forward, I bit down on his throat, sucking at his pulse point, and he shuddered, a whimper breaking from his lips.FuckI could live off that sound alone.

His cock throbbed inside me, his body trembling, hands sliding up my back. “Lilith—please—so good, so wet—fuck, I can feel you dripping down me.”

I sat up straighter, grabbing his jaw, forcing him to look at me. His eyes were wild, pupils blown wide, lips slick and parted, chest heaving.

“That good, hmm?” I asked, squeezing him just right as I rolled my hips.

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