Page 227 of Ruin Me Gently

“Silas?”

I turned. Lilith stood in the doorway, wrapped in one of my shirts, a blanket draped over her shoulders, hair a complete mess.

My chest loosened, just a little. Enough to breathe. Enough to feel something other than the endless loop of failure running through my veins.

“Hey, sweetheart,” I murmured. “Are you okay?”

“Hmm.” She yawned, rubbing her cheek against the blanket. “You woke me up.”

“Oh, fuck. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” she glanced at the monitors, then back at me.

“Come here.”

She hesitated for a split second before moving, padding across the room, and crawling into my lap. I skimmed a hand down her spine, anchoring her against me.

She nuzzled into my neck. “I miss you.”

I pressed a kiss to her temple. “I’m right here.”

“Yeah. Physically.”

My stomach twisted. “I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

She hummed against my skin, her breath warm where it fanned over my collarbone. “Your eyes are going to start bleeding if you don’t stop.”

A quiet chuckle rumbled in my chest. “It’ll be worth it. I promise.”

“I’m serious,” she said, toying lazily with the collar of my shirt. “You should sleep.”

“I will soon,” I said, letting my lips graze her hairline.

“Liar.”

I tilted her chin up slightly, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of her mouth. “Go back to bed, sweetheart.”

She made a small, sleepy noise of protest. “Come with me.”

I exhaled, smoothing a hand over her back. “I need to stay up a little bit longer.”

“Mm. Shame.”

I narrowed my eyes slightly, tilting my head back to get a better look at her. “Shame?”

“Yeah,” she murmured. “I was really looking forward to falling asleep wrapped around you. Feeling all warm and safe and…” she trailed off, running a path down my chest with her fingers.

Warmth simmeredbeneath my skin, and I cleared my throat. “You’ll still feel all those things, sweetheart.”

She sighed, shifting in my lap just enough for my hands to instinctively tighten against her waist. “Not the same. Not without you.”

“Lilith.”

“Mhm?” she breathed, lifting her head to graze her lips against my jaw.

I forced out a slow breath. “You’re playing dirty.”

She pulled back, meeting my eyes. “Am I?”

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