Page 245 of Ruin Me Gently

“Yeah,” I said, voice cold and low. “Yeah, you do.”

I knew exactly what this was. He wanted me to break. Wanted me to stop holding it in and just let go. He knew I was drowning, and he was giving me an easy target. Something I could hit. Something I could hurt.

He shook his head, all smug and lazy.

“Nah. All I’m doing is standing here, man. Minding my own business.” He spread his arms wide like he was innocent. Like he wasn’t deliberately poking the bear.

I wasn’t taking it out on him. I couldn’t. I wouldn’t. I let go of his shirt with a huff. He staggered slightly, but caught himself, straightening with that same irritating confidence.

He rolled his shoulders, adjusting his collar. “Sort your shit out,” he muttered. “Or I’ll do it for you. That’s a promise.”

The door slammed shut behind him.

I scrubbed a hand over my jaw.

He was right. She was lonely. In that place—ourplace—waiting for me to come home. And I wasn’t there.

My gaze flicked to my phone, lying face up on the desk. No texts from her today.

My ribs tightened around my lungs.

It was later than it should’ve been, but still earlier than usual. Not that it mattered. I should’ve been home hours ago. Hell, I should’ve been home days ago. Weeks.

I needed to go to her. Now.

Moonlight spilled across her, painting her skin silver, catching the loose strands of dark hair that’d slipped across her face. A book lay abandoned on the pillow beside her, face down, pages fanned out like wings.

I stood in the doorway for longer than I should have, just watching her.

La mia adorata ragazza.

The ache in my chest flared. That same gnawing feeling that had been eating at me for weeks. I needed to get to my office. Needed to get this shit done. The longer I left it, the more restless I felt, like I was holding my breath. But she needed me.

I undressed myself and sank onto the mattress, slow and careful. The warmth of her skin radiated through the blankets, tugging me closer. I reached out, brushing a stray lock of hair from her face and she mumbled something soft, barely a whisper.

“Shhh,” I murmured. “It’s okay. I’m here.”

I shifted closer, reaching for her, but she rolled away, tucking herself tighter into the sheets.

“Hey, sweetheart,” I said quietly, dipping my head closer, lips brushing her shoulder.

She flinched and curled into herself, her back hunching, her knees drawn up beneath the blankets.

I swallowed hard. “Hey,” I said again, softer this time. “Come here.”

“I’m tired,” she mumbled, her voice muffled.

I tried again, sliding my fingers along her arm, but she shook me off.

My chest tightened. “Okay,” I whispered, pulling my hand away. “Okay.”

I propped myself up on one elbow, watching her back. Her shoulders were stiff, breath too shallow to be asleep. But I let it stretch for a few minutes.

“Lilith,” I said quietly. “Please.”

“Silas. I want to sleep.”

“You’re not sleeping though,” I said. “You’re just lying there.”

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