Page 259 of Ruin Me Gently

Her body gave one final, violent shudder—then nothing.

Stillness.

A silence so complete it crushed me.

I pulled back, just enough to look at her, to plead her to come back—but her eyes, once so wild, were empty now.

I screamed.

I screamed louder than I ever had in my life, my own voice ripping from me like a blade.

Her name broke from my lips, a desperate, raging plea.

One she would never hear.

CHAPTER FIFTY EIGHT

Present Day

“Itried to findhim.” The words came out rough, scraping against my throat like gravel. “But I was just a college kid. No money, no resources, no idea what I was doing.” My chest tightened. “And while I was wasting time running in circles trying to be some half-assed detective…” I swallowed hard. “He killed two more girls. Just like Katie. Same method. Same… everything.”

The air felt too thin, like it couldn’t fill my lungs fast enough.

“They found him a few weeks later. Repeat offender. Known for assaulting women. In and out of the system for years. The kind of guy who should’ve been locked up a long time ago.” I let out a hollow laugh. “And he didn’t even run far. Two towns over, sitting in some pawn shop trying to sell the girls’ valuables. Katie’s necklace was still in his pocket.”

My breath shuddered out of me. “I wasted so much time. And for what? If I’d just been faster… if I’d tried harder… maybe they wouldn’t have—”

I cut myself off. “And then came the trial. Her parents. Her friends. All of them whispering when I passed, looking at me like I was no better than him.”

I stared down at my hands. At the hands that had tried to save her, that had been covered in her blood.

“They all thought it was my fault,” I admitted. “If I had just—” my throat tightened, the words sticking like barbed wire. “I heard them say it.”

“‘She died because of him’ ‘If he had just been there’ ‘If she wasn’t on her way to see him.’”

“I sat in that courtroom for over a month, listening to every disgusting thing he did to her before I found her. Every last detail.” My hands curled into fists. “And all I could think about was how I could’ve stopped it.”

I blinked hard against the swell of tears in my eyes. “The guy got life. No parole.” A short, bitter laugh escaped my throat. “Like that was supposed to mean something.”

I didn’t realise I was shaking until my fingers brushed against my leg, the tremor unmistakable.

“That’s when I vowed to myself I could never let anyone love me again.” The words scraped out of me, hoarse and broken, barely audible over the blood rushing through my ears. “I didn’t want it to happen again. I didn’t want someone to get close to me, just for them to get hurt.”

I looked up. Somehow, we’d both ended up on the floor. I wasn’t sure when or how it had happened—if my legs had finally given out or if she’d sunk down first.

She didn’t move. Didn’t speak. But she was crying.

Lilith never cried.

Tears slipped down her cheeks, tracking over the delicate line of her jaw, spilling silently into the hollows of her collarbones.

She wasn’t yelling at me. She wasn’t telling me to get the fuck away from her. She wasn’t telling me I was a monster.

Why?

Why the fuck not?

She should’ve been disgusted. Should’ve told me she never wanted to see me again. But instead, she was just watching me.

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