Page 73 of Ruin Me Gently

She kept walking. Didn’t even pull out her phone. I clenched my jaw under the scarf, forcing my breath through my nose, forcing myself to stay calm.

My pulse pounded as I typed again.

Silas

No shouting tonight?

A long moment passed before her shoulders rose with a sigh. She yanked her phone from her pocket, the screen casting a glow over her face, and typed.

One word.

Lilith

No.

The words sat there, glaring back at me.

Flat. Distant. Dismissive.

Something clawed its way up my throat, raw and burning.

What did that mean?

No, she wasn’t shouting?

No, she wasn’t okay?

A tight, suffocating knot coiled in my chest.

I fired back another text.

Silas

What’s going on?

I watched as the little bubble popped up, disappeared, popped up again.

Lilith

Nothing.

My fingers tightened around my phone, a sharp pulse drumming at the base of my skull.

The city lights blurred around me, dull and unfocused, drowned out by the pounding in my ears. I was trailing her from across the street, like I always did, keeping my distance, keeping my pace in time with hers.

Except she wasn’t looking at me. She wasn’t looking at her phone. She wasn’t looking anywhere but ahead. Like I wasn’t even there.

My lungs squeezed.

I wanted to say something.

I wanted to run across the street, close the space, fix whatever I’d broken.

But I didn’t. I couldn’t. I just followed. Step for step. Matching her movements. Breath tight. Chest burning.

By the time we reached her house, my pulse was a thunderstorm, rattling every inch of my body.

She climbed the steps without checking her phone, without turning around to look at me, without giving me one of her usual sharp, witty little retorts.

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