Page 81 of Ruin Me Gently

Say something.

“Do you have cameras in my house?”

Gesù Cristo.

“No.” The word came out too fast.

“Oh God. Please tell me you haven’t got cameras in my house.”

A muscle in my jaw ticked. “I—”

“How do you know that I…” I could practically hear the gears turning in her head. The moment the pieces clicked. “Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me!” She let out a sharp breath, shifting in her seat to face me fully. “My fucking doorbell?”

I stayed staring at the road. Mouth clamped shut under the scarf.

She threw her hands in the air, her laughter half-hysterical, half‘are you actually serious right now?’

“That’s how you’ve been making it cut off too? That’s why it never shows you? The doorbell?! Of all things?! Oh, for God’s sake, that explains so much! Are you a hacker or something?” She let out another laugh. “I don’t know if I should be impressed or ready to start swinging.”

Bile crept up my throat. She wasn’t supposed to find out like this. Hell, she wasn’t supposed to find out at all.

Her palm hit the dash so hard it vibrated through my car. “Pull the fuck over. Now!”

Shame coiled itself around my bones as I eased the car to the side of the road.

She was angry. Rightfully so.

“No more ‘no’s,’”she said. “No more cryptic bullshit. What do you think you’re doing?”

The lump in my throat was too thick, and my fingers curled tighter around the steering wheel, nails digging into the leather. “I don’t know.”

She let out a sharp, bitter laugh. “Oh, you don’t know? That’s rich. It’s one thing pulling your lurker act. It’s one thing sending me gifts and lunches. It’s another thing keeping up this whole masked mystery man charade in our texts. But watching me through a damn doorbell? Like some messed up personal guard dog? What the actual fuck?”

The words hit. Hard. She didn’t even know the half of what I’d done. Didn’t know why Clark hadn’t bothered her again. Didn’t know what I’d done to him. Didn’t know why I had to hide myself away from her. Didn’t know a damn thing. She had no idea how deep this went. And if she did? She’d jump out of this car and run for the hills.

“Look at me.” Her voice was softer now, but it wasn’t a request, it was an order.

I hesitated, but I did it. Slowly, reluctantly, I turned, forcing my eyes to meet hers. “I just wanted to keep you safe. Make sure you were okay.” My voice felt foreign in my throat, low and small. Shit, I was pathetic.

“Jesus. You can’t do that—you can’t—” she gestured vaguely, as if she was trying to grasp the right words. “Do you know what. Fine. You want to make sure I’m safe? Then take me home.”

CHAPTER TWENTY

The second we pulledup in front of my house, reality cracked through me like lightning splitting a tree.

What the fuckwas I doing?

The rest of the drive had been suffocating. Neither of us had spoken. Neither of us had tried. And now, sitting here, staring at my own house, I felt… off. Untethered.

This was a terrible idea, and yet—

“Do you want to come inside?”

His fingers flexed against his thighs and the scarf still covered the lower half of his face, making it impossible to read him, but I could feel the tension rolling off him in thick waves.

After a pause, he nodded.

I shoved the car door open before my brain could catch up with my actions, and I didn’t look back until I was on the porch, key ready at the lock. Only then did I realise he hadn’t followed. He was still by the curb, watching me,waiting.

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