Page 83 of Ruin Me Gently

I tightened my grip on my mug. “Are you going to explain anything to me?”

My pulse ticked up, frustration clawing at my patience. “Oh, for God’s sake,” I set my coffee down with a little too much force. “You said you wanted to keep me safe? But why did it start? Out of everyone in this city, why me?”

“Because you needed someone.”

The words punched through me, something deep and aching splintering open inside.

I needed someone? When? What?

“I don’t need anyone.”

His eyes flicked down. “You did.”

“Why from a distance? Why not come to me like a normal person? Why do everything like this?”

His hands curled into fists against his thighs, shoulders tensed.

“Lilith,” he said softly. “What happened today?”

“What?” I blinked. Had he just completely avoided my question?

“You know what I mean.”

I stayed quiet for a minute, taking a slow sip of coffee.

“Just… stuff.” The words felt weak the second they left my mouth. I cleared my throat and forced a shrug. “Everyone has bad days sometimes, right?”

He didn’t answer right away. Didn’t move. Didn’t even blink.Creepy.

“Yeah. They do.” He tilted his head, eyes narrowing. “Do you want to talk about it?”

I reached for the easiest answer. “No. It’s nothing.”

“It’s something,” he said.

Why was he looking at me like that? Staring into my soul like he could pull the answer out of me?

My stomach flipped. “Don’t try to psychoanalyse me.”

He kept staring at me. The tension curled tight, almost unbearable. I didn’t want to poke at that wound. Didn’t want to go digging through that wreckage just to bleed all over the floor. It was easier to leave the mental flesh to stitch itself back together without interference.

“Look, I don’t—” my voice caught, and I chewed the inside of my cheek. “I can’t explain it whenIdon’t even know what’s happening in my own head most of the time, alright?”

Maybe that was too harsh. Too defensive. I forced out a dry laugh. “So if you’re waiting for some kind of explanation,” I shook my head. “I don’t have one.”

I hadn’t even finished the breath that followed before four soft words came from under that scarf.

“Can I touch you?”

Huh?

My brain static’d. Rebooted. Crashed again.

What?

What was that?

I blinked. Opened my mouth. Closed it again.

---