Page 94 of Ruin Me Gently

“STDs?” I tried again. “Scary piercings?”

That earned me some demonic sound that lay right between a growl and a breath.

“Sorry,” I muttered, folding my arms across my chest. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to say here.”

“I want you to say no,” he said. “Just… tell me no, Lilith.”

CHAPTER TWENTY THREE

Iwas coming apartat the seams. My hands were shaking, fists clenchingand unclenching like I could physically restrain myself from doing something I shouldn’t. My chest heaved, every muscle wound so damn tight I felt like I might snap down the centre.

I needed to leave.

I needed to stay.

Fuck, I was scared. I was so damn scared.

But she wantedme.

Shewantedme.

I could still keep her safe. I could still keep my distance. I could give her what she wanted, without giving her all of me.

Right?

Right?

I knew the right choice.

Knew the smart one.

So why the fuck couldn’t I stop myself? Why the fuck was I stood in front of her, lungs stuttering, making a decision I knew was so, so wrong?

I’d let my guard down, let her see just enough to think I was safe. Like I wasn’t the same man who’d been lurking in the dark for weeks, trailing her steps like a shadow. Like I hadn’t spent every sleepless night convincing myself that this was fine. That I wasn’t crossing a line when I’d already sprinted miles past it.

And then I touched her—felt her body move against mine like she’d been waiting for it—and I couldn’t stop.

It was reckless. Stupid. Dangerous.

But God help me, I’d never felt anythinglike that before.

Her mouth on mine, her hands curling into my hoodie and my hair, dragging me closer like I was something she needed. I knew better than to let it happen—knew better than to believe I could ever have this, deserve this.

I’d walked out because I had to. And now, I was standing on her porch like an idiot. One foot on the curb, one foot in the street, like I couldn’t commit to either direction.

I knew what this was. I knew how this ended. She’d get hurt.

And yet, I couldn’t shake the sick, corrupted feeling that I was already too far gone. That leaving wouldn’t mean a damn thing.

I could leave.

I should leave.

But all I could see was her standing there, hair a mess, mouth still swollen from my kisses. Looking at me like I was something worth waiting for.

It tore straight through me.

“I want you to say no,” I said. “Just… tell me no, Lilith.”

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