Page 101 of Duty and Desire

Gio smiled. “That sounds like a good thing to do.”

“Perhaps. What scares me, however, is the thought of being rejected by the very people I am trying to serve.”

I hadn’t expected Gio to take my hand in his, but I welcomed the warmth and comfort his touch brought. We stood there in silence, and for the first time, I dared to hope.

Could things change?

In that moment I wanted to believe they could, and that Gio would fight with me for such a future.

Then it came to me that the next wedding to take place within these walls would probably be mine to Karoline, and all my hopes deserted me.

I had to accept my future, because thinking it could be otherwise would bring me nothing but heartache and disappointment.

“Where will you be crowned?”

“In the Coronation Chamber.”

Gio frowned. “How come you haven’t taken me there?”

My heartbeat raced and my stomach clenched.

“Nick?”

I took a deep breath. “I’ll take you there now.”

We walked out of the chapel into the sunlight, a few feet apart.

If we were on Bora-Bora, he’d hold my hand.

Lord, I missed my life there.

I opened one of the two ornate doors leading into the chamber, and waited as Gio went inside. I heard the hitch in his breathing.

Yes, it’s another beautiful room.But it was also one I avoided.

Gio stared at the ceiling that was reminiscent of the ballroom’s. “This is… this is just fantastic.” His smile lit up his face.

This is why I love him.To watch him stare in awe and wonder, to hear his noises of appreciation, to know he recognized beauty and valued it…

Myappreciation of the chamber was marred by fear of what the room represented.

I schooled my features, not wishing to spoil the moment. Gio wandered over to the dais on which sat two thrones, one much grander and more central than the other. It was beautifully carved and covered with a sheen of gold, purple velvet covering the seat and back.

He stood in front of it, so still that I wondered what went through his mind.

Then he turned and gazed at me with warm eyes.

“What’s wrong?”

I swallowed. “I don’t know what you mean.”

He came toward me, and after glancing at the door, he took my hands in his.

“Liar.” His voice was soft. “You wouldn’t have brought me in here if I hadn’t asked. Why? What is it about this room you don’t like?”

I pulled free of his grasp and walked slowly toward the throne. “This,” I said simply, pointing at it. “I’ve never witnessed a coronation, and I thought my first such event would be Rudolf’s. I never imagined it would be my own.” Another hard swallow. “And now I see it, now I know I will be the next monarch to sit on that throne…” I looked him in the eye. “I don’t know if I’m strong enough to resist the transformation that event will bring about. And I’m afraid of ruling alone.”

Gio frowned. “But you won’t be alone.”

---