Page 107 of Duty and Desire

Even if I wasn’t sure that was the truth.

“The history of my own family is against me,” Nick muttered. “So what if I’m not the only gay man in my family tree? What difference does it make if all I can do is repeat the past?”

I stopped at the top of the staircase.

“Who says you have to do that? What if you’re the one to breakthe cycle?” I knew I shouldn’t, but I couldn’t help myself. I took Nick’s hands in mine and looked at him, not bothering to extinguish the urgency that overwhelmed me. “Hasn’t it sunk in yet? You have the power to shape a very different legacy—if you’re willing to take the risk.” I smiled. “You don’t need to pretend to be someone you’re not. You could be Eisenland’s first openly gay king.”

He gaped at me. “You really believe that, don’t you?”

I cupped his cheek. “Yes, because I believe inyou.”

Now all you have to do is believe in yourself.

Chapter Thirty-Four

June 3

Nick

Ifound Gio outside, sitting in my favorite spot. He glanced up as I approached, his forehead creasing into a frown.

“What’s wrong?”

I sat beside him. “Not wrong, as such. I’ve been talking to Daniela about the ball. We’ve invited about a hundred guests from all over the country.”

Another step toward the throne, a celebration of my father’s life and my accession, and undoubtedly an evening of reminders about his reign.

And they expect me to emulate him.

Gio bit his lip. “Is real life intruding again?”

I leaned back, chuckling. “I can’t hide anything from you, can I? But back to the ball… Claudia is going to Zurich later this morning. Dress shopping.”

Gio stared at me. “Hasn’t she left it rather late?”

I laughed. “She always does. But she says you’re going too. You need a suit, after all.”

Gio sighed. “Of course. I wouldn’t want to stick out like a sore thumb, although I have a feeling wearing the right clothes won’t make a damn bit of difference.”

“Hey.” I twisted to look at him. “No one has made you uncomfortable here, have they?”

“No, but then again they wouldn’t dare. I’m your guest. But these people coming to the ball… Are we talking royalty? Old noble Eisenland families? Distinguished, important people?” His face fell. “Maybe it would be better if I didn’t attend.”

I stared at him. “And if I said I need you to be there? For me? Which I know is me being utterly selfish, but?—”

“Then I’ll be there.” His eyes locked onto mine. “But only for you.” He tilted his head. “Okay, give me the whole story. Because something is still bothering you.”

“The palace housekeeper spoke with me this morning. She asked me what I wanted to do about my father’s private study.” I stared at the fountain. “No one has been in there since he died. But I don’t want it to stay the way it is, a shrine to his memory. There are enough rooms like that already in the palace.” I huffed. “And yet I haven’t had the courage to go inside.”

Gio stood. “Then let’s go there now, the two of us. Strike while the iron is hot, and all that.” He smiled. “I’ll hold your hand when no one is looking.”

Having him with me would be enough.

I nodded. “You’re right. I should do it now.”

We walked side by side into the palace, and I led him to the door adjacent to my father’s bedroom. The key sat in the lock, and what hit me so hard that it felt as tangible as a blow, was that the last person to have turned it would have been my father before he left on his skiing trip.

When Gio asked me what had just gone through my mind, I told him.

---