Page 121 of Duty and Desire

To my surprise, she didn’t return my smile, and a ribbon of ice tied itself around my heart.

“He’s gone, Nick.”

I flinched. “What do you mean, gone?” Dread settled on me, smothering me, and it seemed as though I could hear every sound in the palace.

“He left first thing this morning. Daniela saw to his travel arrangements last night.”

That explained why she was so keen to talk to me. Blood pounded in my ears. “Gio wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye.”

She raised her eyebrows. “You mean, the wayyoudid? But you’re right. He left you this.” She held out an envelope.

I snatched it from her, and without another word I hurried along the hallway, down the staircase, heading for my sanctuary, my breathing ragged, and a tingling in my chest, unable to control the shivers that rippled through me. I barely saw the faces of those I passed on my way. One thought thundered inside my head.

I won that battle, but I lost Gio.

When I reached the fountain, I sat, my hands trembling, my head spinning. I tore the envelope and removed the single sheet of folded paper.

I drew in a deep breath.

My Dearest Nick,

It’s late, and I’m sitting in the quiet of my room, struggling to find the right words. Ironic, huh? A writer who can’t write.

That was me before I found you. You changed all that.

But I still need to find the words.

How do I write a goodbye letter when every word feels like a betrayal of what we’ve shared? But I owe it to you, to us, to leave nothing unsaid, even if the truth pushes us further apart.

You know better than anyone the weight of the crown they’re about to place on your head. The burdens you must carry. I’m only just beginning to understand that. Before we met, I never once thought I’d fall in love with a king. And yet, here I am—irrevocably in love with you.

But we both know love is a complicated thing. It’s beautiful and fleeting, painful and necessary. And because I love you, and despite everything we’ve shared, I know—truly know—that I can’t stand in the way of your destiny. Your throne. Your future.

The time we shared on Bora-Bora? The life you lived, hidden away in the shadows? That was never meant to last forever. I came to Eisenland ostensibly to save you from a horrific marriage, but that wasn’t the only reason. I can admit it now. I came because I was selfish, hoping you could have both—your crown and me. But the truth is, the world—yourworld—won’t allow for that. Your ministers, your subjects, they want you to be the king they’ve always dreamed of. And as much as it breaks my heart to admit it, I want that for you too.

I know this is not what you’d want. I know you’d fight for me, if only you could. But I’ve made my decision. I can’t ask you to choose, not like this. So, I’ll take the choice out of your hands. I’ll leave. Quietly, without a word. No grand gestures, no last promises—just this letter, which I hope will serve as a reminder of the love we shared, and the man I will always cherish.

You have a future ahead of you, a future that doesn’t include me, and I want you to have that—whole, untethered, and free. I never wanted to be the weight that kept you from soaring. I never wanted tobe the reason you hesitated when you looked to the horizon. And if my absence will help you see that horizon more clearly, then that is the only way forward.

Nick, my sweet, sweet Nick… You’ve given me a lifetime of memories—intimate, beautiful moments I will carry with me always. I don’t know how long it will take to stop feeling the ache of you, but I promise you, I will try.

You have to understand, Nick. I’m doing this because I love you. Because I want the best for you. Even if that means walking away, no matter how it breaks me to do so.

And itisbreaking me.

Please know, in the deepest part of me, you’ll always be the king of my heart.

And I think I’d better stop this right here, because that line iswaytoo corny.

With all my love,

Gio

I wiped the tears from my cheeks, my vision blurred, my eyelids hot. I tried to read the letter again, but the words danced on the paper and all I wanted to do was find a dark place to crawl into and cry without subjecting anyone else to my heartache.

“I thought I’d find you here.”

I jerked my head up. “Now is not a good time, Franz. I just want to be alone.”

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