Page 123 of Duty and Desire

When we reached the office, the official pushed the door open and ushered me inside.

“Is there a problem? Because—” The words died in my throat.

Nick was standing there, alone.

Oh God.

My brain seemed to have stopped working, because my mind went blank, unable to compute. My mouth fell open, and my throat tightened. Without thinking I dropped my bags to the floor.

His lips twitched. “This is a first.”

I blinked. “What is?”

“You, speechless.” He took a step toward me, and my heart thumped. When he made no move to touch me, I knew all was not well.

Of course it wasn’t. I’d run out on him.

But he’s here, isn’t he? That must mean something.

Then I saw my letter in his hand, and my stomach clenched.

Nick held it up. “You said in this that you loved me. Why, then, would you run, choosing this way to tell me? Why not say it all to my face?”

“I had my reasons.”

“Then share them. Because I need to know.”

Where to begin?

I took a deep breath. “If I’d stayed, you might have been swayed into making a decision that wasn’t in your best interests. I didn’t want you to choose me out of love, and then have that decision lead to regret, ruin, or conflict later. I had to spare you from that.” I swallowed. “Putting distance between us was the only way to allow you to make whatever hard decisions were necessary for your future, without outside influence—myinfluence.”

He pursed his lips. “That’s one reason, I suppose. Now give me another.”

My heart quaked. “I felt guilty for putting you in the position of choosing between love and duty. If I’d stayed, if I’d talked about my feelings, that would only have made your burden even heavier. I had no right to ask you to make such a choice, and I ran, because I couldn’t face that guilt.” I shivered. “Ultimately, I believed my presence in the palace could make you unhappy. I’d be too much of a distraction, causing you to struggle constantly between love and duty. By leaving this way, I was protecting you from a more painful or prolonged internal conflict in the future.”

Nick regarded me in silence, and as the seconds ticked by, I longed to know what he was thinking. When I couldn’t stand it a moment longer, I blurted, “I don’t know what else I can tell you.”

“I think you’ve stated your case most eloquently. Now let me tellyousomething.” Then he smiled, and it was as if someone flipped a switch inside me, allowing all the tension to bleed from me. “I’m not going to marry Karoline.”

My jaw went slack, and I was robbed of all speech.

Thank God.

Nick took another step toward me. “And I’m here to ask you not to leave, but to stay and share my life.” His voice was as I remembered, low and lilting.

Then his words sank in.

The ringing in my ears drowned out the platform announcement of my train’s arrival.

“But we can’t,” I protested. “You’re the King.”

He arched his eyebrows. “Then surely I’m allowed to choose who I love. And maybe I don’twantto be King. Not if it means I lose you.”

I was paralyzed. “No. I can’t let you do that. You can’t give up your throne because of me.”

“Then the alternative is you becoming my consort.”

Consort?

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