Page 124 of Duty and Desire

I gaped at him. “Nick, you’re …you’re really messing with my head.”

Another smile filled me with warmth.

With hope.

“You don’t think you’re up to the task, is that it? Suffering from fears of inadequacy?” He gave me a rueful glance. “I understand those more than you know. But I believe in you. I think you can do it. Maybe you should see it as a challenge.” He pointed toward the platform. “Out there are subjects who struggle to be accepted. They’ve been in hiding, just as I was, but I have to believe they want to be seen—just as I do.”

In that moment he sounded every inch a king, regal, with a wisdom older than his years.

Nick took my hands in his. “I want to be their king. To stand with them. And yes, I truly considered stepping down. I’m sure there must be a cousin somewhere who would jump at the chance to sit on the throne.” His expression grew serious. “But that’s the coward’s way. I’m not going to run away again. And I want you at my side, as my consort.”

I searched for the right words.

“Let’s assume for the moment that a miracle occurs, and yoursubjects declare themselves happy to have a gay King. I don’t think they’d be so happy about their king having a commoner for a consort.”

Nick smiled. “A commoner? With a name like Colonna?”

I stared at him, my mind racing. “What?”

“Last night I did some research. Did you know, for instance, that the Italian Republic abolished legal recognition of noble titles in 1946?”

I blinked again. “If I did, I’ve forgotten it.” Then I frowned. “Where are you going with this?”

Nick grinned. “I looked you up. The Colonna family is one of the oldest noble families in Rome, with roots going back to the eleventh century.”

Wait a minute…

“That sounds like something my nonna used to tell me when I was a little kid. I thought it was just a story to keep me quiet.”

Nick nodded. “So I wouldn’t be marrying a commoner after all.”

Time stood still.

My stomach fluttered. “Did you just propose to me?”

He beamed. “Why yes, I suppose I did. And don’t ask me to get down on one knee. Franz would have a fit.” He hollered toward the door. “Youareout there, aren’t you, Franz?”

“Yes, Your Majesty. I’m making sure no one interrupts you. And yes, I would have a fit, so don’t even think about it.”

Despite the multitude of thoughts swarming so fast that I couldn’t keep up with them, I laughed.

Nick closed the gap between us, enfolding me in his arms. “Marry me, Giovanni Colonna?”

I grabbed hold of my last remnants of logical thought. “Can I keep on writing?”

He chuckled. “Of course, but you’re going to be busy. You’re going to help me reshape my country.” He smiled. “And you can definitely write about that.”

I cradled his face in my hands and kissed him on his forehead, cheeks, nose and finally hislips.

“Yes, I’ll marry you, Nikolaus,” I whispered.

Nick let out a low growl. “As long as you promise to always call me Nick.”

The quiet that followed was shattered by the loud grumbling of a train pulling in.

Nick glanced toward the door. “I guess you won’t be going to San Francisco just yet.”

I kissed him again. “You guess right. Who knows? If I stay here long enough, I might even get to feel as though I belong, instead of an outsider.”

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