Page 54 of Duty and Desire

He huffed. “I knew the moment we arrived at the airport. Claudia told me.”

I couldn’t resist. “Did you give her a hug before she went through Security? A peck on the cheek?”

He flushed. “Fine. So you know.” His voice was gruff. “And I did, as a matter of fact. But I’m not here to talk about her.” He folded his arms. “You falling for this guy?”

“His name is Gio. You might as well get used to calling him that, because you’re going to be seeing a lot of him.”

Franz raised his eyebrows. “Then I guess I have my answer.”

“So what if I am? We’re not hurting anyone. And it’s no one’s business but ours.”

Franz wandered over to the couch and sat. “Look, I know right now you’re seeing the world through a haze of?—”

“Choose your next words carefully.” I narrowed my eyes. “You havenoidea what I feel for him, okay? Or how deep those feelings run.” I was only starting to discover that for myself.

“But that’s my point,” he protested. “You won’t be here forever, you know that, right? This is all going to come to an end eventually. You have responsibilities.”

I stuck my chin out. “No, I don’t. Not here. And not there either, if it comes to that. They don’t need me. I’ll let them get on with the ‘family business’,” I air-quoted. “They’re welcome to it.”

He studied me for a moment. “You won’t become like them, if that’s what you’re afraid of. Not in a million years. And do you know why? You’re nothing like them.”

I sat in the armchair. “You know, I think I liked you more when you didn’t speak. Not that you need to. Your presence is a constant reminder that I’m never as free as I think I am.” And I was growing weary of it.

Franz clasped his hands. “I’m here to do one thing—watch out for you. That’s nonnegotiable. And because while you might try to run away from it, you have a duty?—”

He’d just crossed the line.

“Don’t talk to me about duty,” I said through gritted teeth. “I’ve had that all my life.”

What surprised me was the warmth of his gaze. “Then you should know by now. You can’t run from it.”

“I can give it a damn good try.”

We were at an impasse.

I leaned forward, my elbows resting on my knees. “My father killed my first chance of happiness. Then he did it again, and again, until I gave up searching for it. And then I came here, only to find the damage had already been done. I’d grown wary of men. I was always aware of you in the background, running your checks. Yes, I know you were only doing your job, but I also know you scared off anyone who got close. In three years, how many men have I… connected with, for want of a better word?”

Franz flushed. “I thinkI’vedated more than you have, and that’s saying a lot.”

I nodded. “Which brings us to Gio. I was right to trust him, I know that now. So you don’t need to worry, okay? I’m safe with him.”

“Does he know who you are?”

I shook my head. “And I’m not about to tell him.” I had several reasons for keeping that particular secret, and each one carried its own emotional toll. “So I’m asking you to do one thing—Let me be. Let me live my life my way.” I locked gazes with him. “Let me be happy. Because we both know I deserve that.”

Franz’s teeth sank into his lower lip as he studied me in silence. I waited. There was nothing else I could say.

Finally, he nodded. “You’ve spent years living under pressure. The least I can do is let you lead a normal life.” He smiled. “And it seems that life includes Gio—for the moment.”

Those last three words served to underline the reality of the situation.

This is temporary.

Gio would leave in a few months, I knew that. He had his own life in San Francisco. There was nothing to say he couldn’t return to the island in the future, but it wouldn’t be the same. That would onlyamount to snatches of happiness, and it was dawning on me that I wanted more than brief glimpses.

I wanted a life filled with love. With someoneIchose.

“But there’s something I have to say, something I’m pretty sure you don’t want to hear.”