Page 77 of Duty and Desire

My face tingled. “Thank you.” I sat in one of the two armchairs in the middle of the room. I watched him pour the fragrant liquid into the delicate cups, before handing one to me. I inhaled, drawing its spicy citrus notes into my lungs.

Franz occupied the remaining chair, his cup on the table in front of him. “Someone told me Her Royal Highness has left the palace.”

I sighed. Gabriele hadn’t been there to meet me when I arrived, but I hadn’t expected to see her. Gabriele’s world had caved in on her, and she’d fled to the arms of her parents.

“She left me a note. She needs time to heal.” She’d shared news of her pregnancy, but it was early days, and her health had always been delicate.

She couldn’t stay here, when everything around her was a reminder of my brother. And there are some times when all a girl really needs is her mother.

“Can I ask you something personal?”

I forced a smile. “Yes. And you’re probably the only person within these walls that I would say that to.”

“You loved Gio, didn’t you?”

My throat tightened, and I took a sip of hot tea. “It was that obvious, huh?”

What pained me was the use of the past tense.

Franz let out a soft chuckle. “Now that you mention it… But that wasn’t what I wanted to ask.” He leaned forward, his hands clasped between his knees. “If you loved him, why did you keep your identity a secret?”

Bitter laughter rolled out of me. “I don’t think I can answer that with a simple reply.”

“Then don’t keep it simple,” he blurted. “It’s just us. And I won’t breathe a word, you know that.”

I did.

I rested my elbows on the arms of the chair, and stared into my cup.

“I suppose in the beginning, I was afraid he’d only love me when I was ordinary Nick Wenzel. That if I revealed my true identity, he’d see me differently.”

“You thought he’d reject you?”

I nodded. “What scared me was our relationship becoming more about my title than me as a person.”

Franz pursed his lips. “I watched the pair of you. I don’t think he would have taken that route.”

I huffed. “I don’t think so either, but that’s with the benefit of hindsight. The more time we spent together, the more I was gripped by the fear of losing him. What if once he knew the truth, he saw me for who I really am—a person trapped by obligations? And those obligations could create a chasm between us.”

Listen to me.I didn’t even sound like Nick Wenzel anymore. I’d already slipped back into the pattern of speech I’d employed most of my life, as if my subconscious was pushing Nick out of the nest like some cuckoo.

“What do you mean?”

I expelled a long breath. “Think about it. Gio would have had every right to feel as if he were in an impossible situation—in love with someone who would always be tethered to a life he couldn’t share.” I swallowed hard. “And I didn’t want him to feel pressured to love me out of obligation or royal duty. That’s why I was going to tell him the truth. The deception… it was starting to weigh heavily on me. I knew our time together was fleeting, but part of me believed we’d find a way around that. A way to make it last.” I closed my eyes. “Revealing who I was—to anyone on the island—might have stripped away the escape I’d found. I led a simple, carefree life. A normal life, far away from the pressure of royal duties, my father’s expectations… I’d come to cherish that normalcy.”

There was silence for a moment.

“I can think of another reason why you kept your identity secret, and it has nothing to do with Gio.”

I opened my eyes. “Oh?”

Franz nodded, his expression thoughtful. “You may have been in hiding, but you still had a strong sense of duty to your kingdom, your country.” He cocked his head to one side. “Revealing yourself? That would force you to confront all those things you’ve been avoiding—political responsibilities, the pressure to marry, your father’s expectations that one day youwouldreturn home. Keeping your identity secret allowed you to push all those burdens aside.” His eyes held compassion once more. “But I think in doing so, all you did was create inner conflict, about your future, your eventual return to royal life.” He let out a sigh. “And I also think all this subterfuge took an emotional toll on you. There must have been an element of never letting Gio get too close to a truth that could change everything.”

I stared at him, the tension easing from my shoulders. “I had you all wrong, Franz.” For one thing, he was far more eloquent than I would have believed.

He blinked. “You did?”

I smiled. “Three years on the island, and I saw you as an encumbrance, a reminder of the life I’d left here—the guard dog sent to watch over me, a link between myself and my family. A link I resented.”

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