Page 51 of Our Little Moments

I turn my head in her direction, unable to keep the grin off my face.

“Yeah, you got me there, Hazel. But at least my eyes aren’t glued to every plant and flower anywhere I go,” Layla replies, a small smile in her voice.

Hazel scoffs. “I don’t look ateveryflower and plant—”

“Yes, you do,” Layla insists

I tune out their bickering as I look up to the sky.

From this angle on the mountain, we can clearly see the pale pink starting to set in.

The sun is setting, and another day has passed.

I can’t help the slow smile spreading on my face. No matter how gray or hard our day was, there will always be color blooming back. Just like gray skies always return to blue and colors shift as the sun rises and sets.

I think our lives are similar in a way. Some moments are gray, but, no matter how long it takes, color always comes back into our lives.

Has my life been gray all along?

My smile fades.

I’d always thought my life was full of color. It was exciting, so full of fame and success. But sitting here, with these women, my life’s never felt more colorful. I can still remember the days when I was filled with joy to train and be surrounded with other people with powers, but those days felt out of reach, almost as if they were never fully real.

I sigh internally. I’ve spent too many years sitting in a comfortable life. I’d gotten used to the gray. I had a wonderful friend who supported my career in every way, success, and a supportive family, but what did it all bring me if going to work always felt like going through the motions and never something I was excited for?

“Oof. Stella’s deep in thought, isn’t she?” Layla says from behind me, her voice dragging me out of my thoughts.

I sigh heavily. “Yeah. How do you make it stop?”

Layla laughs. “Girl, you can’t. I’ve been asking myself that since I was seven. If your brain overthinks, you’re stuck overthinking with it.”

“Maybe,” Hazel says, “but you can still do things to bring yourself out of it. Taking a walk. Journaling. Talking it out. Youcan’t stop it, but you can stop the thoughts from running in circles.”

“Wow. That’s deep, Hazel,” Layla comments with a small laugh.

“Well, there are also times where you need to keep those thoughts in your head. Keep some things to yourself,” Isa murmurs, looking back into the horizon.

“Maybe.” Hazel’s voice is so full of compassion that I’m overwhelmed. “There are some things you keep to yourself, but talking it out with people lessens the weight of those thoughts. You don’t have to share everything, but you don’t have to keep every hard truth to yourself either.”

We all stay silent after that. I watch the colors change across the sky. Gentle orange. Pastel pink. Vibrant red. Deep blue.

Silence.

The night is slowly starting to settle in.

Silence.

Why are they so quiet?

I usually find the silence restorative. My life used to be so full of noise. Cameras, screams, magic, interviews, cheers . . . Silence meant a break; it meant I was alone. That I could finally breathe.

Except right now breathing seems like an impossible task. My heart starts racing, pounding heavily. My hands start trembling, and I’m thrown back into my old life.

Putting on a show.

Having everyone’s eyes on me.

Interview after interview, question after question, no one knowing who I truly am.

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