Page 89 of Our Little Moments

Chapter 35

Stella

When we got back home, the first thing I did was call Derek. I updated him on everything that happened—how happy the last few weeks made me. He told me he was happy for me and that I deserve it. I smile, thinking back on his words. I can’t believe how much we both missed out on in our friendship.

After talking with him, I called my parents. I answered all their questions on how everything was going here and checked up on them. They told me to keep going and that they were just a call away if I need them.

It feels like my life is finally falling into place.

For the weeks that followed, I went all in with singing. I worked with and without Layla on songwriting, but also made sure to take time to recharge and have fun.

I won’t repeat my past mistakes.

However, while my dreams are taking flight, I can tell Adrian’s struggling. He will never say anything on the matter becausehe cares too much about my feelings, but I know he’s hard on himself for not having his life figured out like we all seem to.

I wish I could offer him solutions, solve all of his problems, but I know better. Figuring your life out is one of the battles that no one can fight for you. And it. Never. Stops.

You keep learning every day what you want your life to look like and it gets frustrating when it never feels like enough. But self-discovery is the journey of a lifetime. I was too hard on myself for all my life, thinking I had to know who I was and what I wanted to do for the rest of my life without changing my mind at any point.

In reality, you learn who you are over time. You grow, you change, you evolve, you discover new parts of you. It’s unfair to expect yourself to have it all together when no one truly does.

Layla taps my shoulder with a grin, dragging me out of my thoughts yet again.

We’re writing together in my room tonight like most nights.

Layla smiles at me shyly. “I want to read the new song you just wrote. You looked all happy this week as you worked on it.”

“It’s not revised yet and—”

“Come on, Stella. Please? I will give you the outline for my book. We can give each other feedback.”

When I see her curious blue eyes and her megawatt smile, I give in. “Fine.”

She giggles as she steals my notebook and throws hers my way. I laugh.

I read through her outline and I understand what she meant about her writer’s block. Her notes are all scribbled and there are endless question marks everywhere. The only parts that seemto form her story bring tears to my eyes because they’re about our trip. It’s about how her main character learned to feel safe enough to speak her mind for the first time in years during one summer where she met her best friend and fell in love with someone who finally understood her silence.

“Stella,” Layla murmurs as she looks back at me. “Your songs . . . they’re beautiful.”

My face flames. “You read all the songs? But the song I just finished was just one page!”

Layla’s face turns playfully guilty. “I was curious, okay?”

I chuckle. I knew it would happen.

Her eyes are still awestruck as she looks from my notebook to me. “Seriously, your songs are so . . . raw. They’re beautiful.”

I smile, laughing lightly. “Thank you. I always loved writing about life and emotions. I was a lot more optimistic when I was younger though.”

Layla grins. “I can see that in your writing, Stella. Your tone isn’t optimistic now though, but more . . . authentic. Vulnerable. It’s like I can connect the dots with exactly what went through your head since you came here. It’s heartfelt and so . . .you.”

Pride warms my heart. It’s everything I pour into my songs. Since I came to Westwood Spring, it’s like I finally spread my wings and became a butterfly. Like I bloomed to life.

Writing these songs makes me feel like I’m reassuring my teenage self, telling her that all her dreams and hopes finally came true, even if the path to that life was rocky and so far from what she imagined.

“Thank you, Layla. It’s been a while since I wrote songs like that.”

“Well, your writing really is amazing.” She paused for a bit. “Stella, these words could reach so many people. I’m telling you, this has so much potential. Don’t let that doubt in your head convince you otherwise. Your words are so, so powerful and they touched my heart. You could do something big.”

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