"Sorry," she mumbles around her mouthful, not looking sorry at all. "It's just so good. Sharp and tangy and perfect."

Stuart appears at my side with a plate piled high with food. "The seafood station is incredible. Did you try the crab cakes?"

"Not yet," I say, still watching Tess. "I've been distracted by the horseradish love fest that’s happening over here."

Tess laughs, cutting another piece of meat. "It reminds me of this family joke. My dad always teases my mom because when she was pregnant with me, she ate horseradish on everything. Dad said he'd come home to find her putting it on ice cream."

"On ice cream?" Stuart looks appropriately horrified.

"Pregnancy cravings are wild," Ariel says, joining our little group with Stratton close behind. She bounces baby Chloe on her hip. "I ate pickle sandwiches. Just bread and pickles. For like two months straight."

Stratton grimaces. "She’s not lying. The house smelled like a deli."

"You were totally worth it," Ariel says, kissing Chloe's chubby cheek.

Tess takes another bite, closes her eyes in bliss, then suddenly freezes. Her eyes snap open, wide with a realization I can't decipher.

"Oh my God," she says, loud enough that several nearby conversations pause.

"What?" I ask, suddenly concerned.

She looks at her plate, then at me, then back at her plate. The flush on her cheeks deepens. "I think I’m pregnant," she blurts out.

The words hang in the air for a second before I laugh, assuming it's a joke. But my laugh dies in my throat as I register the horror spreading across Tess's face. She didn't mean to say that out loud. But she definitely said it loud enough that not only our immediate circle heard it, but also the people at the surrounding tables.

The silence stretches, thick and uncomfortable. I feel a cold sweat break out on the back of my neck as the implications sink in. Pregnant? That would mean...no, that's impossible. Tess ison birth control. But nothing is 100% effective, and holy shit, what if she is?

My mind races through the last few weeks, searching for signs I might have missed. Has she been tired? Moody? Throwing up? She hasn’t mentioned any of those things.

I realize I've been quiet too long when Stuart clears his throat.

"Well," he says, his voice unnaturally bright, "this is unexpected."

"No," Tess says quickly, her voice trembling slightly. "I didn't...I was joking. About the horseradish. It's a family joke."

But the damage is done. Jane's eyes are the size of dinner plates, and Trey looks equally as surprised. Stratton and Ariel exchange a look that's impossible to interpret. The silence around us is spreading like a stain now.

I force a smile that feels like it might crack my face. "She's kidding," I say, my voice sounding strange and distant to my own ears. "Obviously."

But I’m pretty sure she’snotkidding. The panic rising in my chest threatens to choke me. Being a father is definitely something I’ve considered but I thought it would happen after a deliberate plan. Not with my fake-turned-real-kind-of-but-not-exactly girlfriend.

"Of course," Tess says, placing her plate down with shaking hands. "Just a silly joke."

I take a too-large swallow of scotch that burns all the way down. I need to appear untroubled, but my mind is spiraling through worst-case scenarios.

"If you'll excuse me," Tess says, her voice tight, "I need to use the restroom."

She walks away, back straight, movements careful, and I know she's holding herself together through sheer force of will. I should follow her, but my feet feel cemented to the floor.

"So," Stuart says, clapping me on the shoulder, "drinks at the bar?"

I nod, grateful for the escape, but Jane intercepts us.

"What was that?" she demands, her eyes boring into mine.

"A joke," I repeat, the word feeling hollow.

"Was it?" Her gaze is too perceptive, too knowing.