Page 12 of Rise By Sin

“Yes.”

“No. You’re not,” he dictated with a grimace..

“Excuse me?” I snapped as I paused again and turned to face him.

“Look, I get it. You’re feisty and you don’t like help, but I also see how much pain you’re in, and how exhausted you are. Trust me, I know a shit ton about injuries and pain after a decade of training and competing.”

“It’s nothing new. I was in pain and exhausted when I fought off the intruder last night. I’m tougher than I look,” I told him.

“I see that too, but can you honestly say you’ll be safe if you get to Colt’s place and there are armed men waiting there for you. Are you up to that right now?” he pushed.

“I’d survive. I always do,” I shrugged.

“You’d survive a lot better if you weren’t alone. Just let me come with you and make sure the place is secure for the night, okay? You know I’m safe. I’m sure you know how many checks your brother does on the security staff who work atTemple.”

He was right. Colt vetted all the club staff, but none more so than the security staff. His first priority was always the safety of the people who came toTemple, particularly the subs who came there alone and put their trust in Colt and the people who worked for him to keep them safe.

“Yeah, okay. Just until I get inside and check the place out,” I acquiesced.

“Good. Now, where’s your car, because I don’t think you’re gonna make it much further, sweetheart,” he said as he nodded down to where my stick was shaking violently in my hold.

“I’ll make it,” I told him resolutely. Maybe stubborn determination was all that was keeping me going right then, but I would make damn sure I made it to my car, and through whatever came next in order to get to Colt.

***

My anxiety steadily rose higher and higher as I drove roads that were suddenly so familiar to me once again, even after ten years away. The closer I got to Colt’s apartment, the harder my heart pounded and the more and more sweaty my hands became on my steering wheel. It used to be my apartment too. It used to be home. Now it was just an apartment filled with the dark, haunting memories of the aftermath of my attack ten years before.

“I can carry you up there if you need me to?” Deak spoke up after what had been way too long a time of me sat in my now stopped car in the underground parking lot below the apartment building. I was freaking out inside. I honestly didn’t know if I could bring myself to walk back into that apartment and open myself up to all of the fear and pain I had worked so hard to lock away for so long.

“No,” I shook my head as I turned to him and forced myself to get it together. I wasn’t the terrified kid I’d been ten years ago. I’d been through so much and seen so much worse since then. I could do this. “I’m good. We should move.”

I didn’t even give him a chance to reply, openein the driver’s side door and turning to get myself out. My entore body was shaking hard as I got to my feet and grabbed my stick from where I’d pushed it behind me into the back seat. My back was in spasm the second I got upright and I couldn’t atop the gasp of agony that slipped from me.

“Ava?” Deacon raced around the car and stood at my side in an instant, his hands held out like he wanted to grab me, but dare not.

“I…I’m okay,” I panted. “J…Just give me a…a second.”

“You know there’s only you and I here right now. No one else will ever know if you just take my hand and let me help just the tiniest bit,” he sighed as he held his hand out to me and stared me down.

“I don’t…” I began, but he but me off.

“…need help. I know. I heard you when you spouted that bull earlier, but you’re doing a terrible job of selling it now, Ava. Just let me take some of the strain while we get you upstairs, please.It’s killing me to watch you struggle. I swear I’ll never tell a soul you gave in just this once.”

I looked up into his eyes and saw he genuinely looked worried. The fisted hand at his side showed how hard he was holding back from just grabbing me like he clearly wanted to and the temptation to give in just won out. I didn’t have anything left inside of me to keep up my armor any longer, and my mask of indifference was long gone, taken by the pain rippling through me. I was kidding no one and I knew it.

“Fine,” I sighed as I placed my shaky hand in his much larger one. “But only because I don’t want you to nag anymore,” I added with a bravado I couldn’t hold on to.

“Whatever it takes,” he shrugged with the hint of a smile as he led me away from the car and then wrapped his free arm around my back gently. I knew I should protest, but the relief of him taking so much of my weight as he practically carried me, was too great to turn down right then.

“You’re shaking so hard. Do you have meds to help with he pain?” Deacon asked as we moved slowly towards the elevators.

“Yeah,” I laughed dryly. “A whole damned pharmacy in my back pack, but they’re not much use. I just need to get some sleep and I’ll be good to go again.”

“That’s all the doctors can do for you? Fucking drugs?” He almost growled the words and when I glanced up at him he looked pissed.

“Physio helps, especially when I was doing it every day, but my insurance wouldn’t cover the cost once I was walking again. I have a few sessions a week, but money’s tight since I was medically retired with my bullshit pension.”

“Fucking assholes. This world if full of them,” he sighed.

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