Page 29 of Rise By Sin

“Sorry love. While I might not agree with the blackmail, I do think you need to let us look out for you while you’re here. I’m worried about you. You’re pale and so bloody thin. Just let us dothis. Just let us be here for you. It doesn’t have to mean anything more than that if you’re not ready.”

“Why are you being such assholes?” I groaned as I lowered my head and rubbed at my aching head tiredly. They were wearing me down and I knew it. They were offering something I had wanted for months now. A break. A reprieve from fighting every second of every day just to be okay, every moment of that alone and afraid. I wanted that, I was just too proud and embarrassed to take it.

“We might be assholes, but we’re the overbearing, protective, dedicated assholes you fell for over a decade ago. You knew what you were getting into then and we haven’t changed since. Yes we’re bossy and demanding, but we protect and look after those we care about fiercely. And Ava, we care more than you can know for you, baby girl,” Mason told me flatly.

“You know this, love. You know who we are. Did you really think when you came back here, that you’d have a chance of just pushing us away when you clearly need someone so badly right now?” Jack added. “Did you really believe after we both told you what you have meant to us for so long, that we wouldn’t do everything in our power to look out for you and to win you back?”

A loud growl of annoyance ripped from me as I once again tried to move from Mason’s lap and his hold. I needed to get away from them before I either gave in completely, or pulled my gun from the back of Mason’s pants and shot him.

“Mason let me the fuck go!” I growled. Luckily for hm he released his arms from around me and I threw myself from his lap, just catching myself and standing up straight.

“You teo are driving me insane!” I gasped breathlessly as I turned to glare at them both where they still sat on the bed. “You haven’t seen me for over a decade! You know nothing about me of my life. Since I came back I’ve spent like a handful of hours with you max! You can’t keep saying you love me and want to be with me because you don’t even know who I am!” I cried as I waved my arms at them animatedly.

“You don’t know who we are either any more. Does that eman you haven’t thought about being with ius for the last ten years?” Jack asked. “Can you honestly tell me you feel nothing for wither of us anymore?”

“No! I can’t. Of course I still have feelings for you, but you…you’re both who you were the last time I was with you. You barely even look any different and I see who you both are. I know you’re still the guys I fell in love with the first night I walked into Temple and saw you both in all black, looking sexy as hell in that crazy, terrifying place I had no real understanding of.

“But I have changed, a fucking lot! I was attacked! By some cray who followed me from temple and decided I was a sinner for even being in there. I…I barely survived that, then I moved to a new city, alone and traumatized. I worked as a CPD detective for years. I’ve seen things…so many fucking horrific things. Then I was shot! I lost my job, my career and everything that made me, me. I left my home and I have barely been surviving in a shithole of an apartment, just so I could hide from the one member of my family I still have! I’m angry and bitter. I don’t laugh anymore. I don’t look for the good anywhere anymore because I don’t even think there is any! You have no idea how messed up I am, so you can’t keep saying you love me, okay! You just can’t! It hurts, and it will hurt even more when you realize I’m right eventually and walk away from me.” I was exhausted and so raw when Iwas done. I stumbled backwards until I hit a dresser, then I grabbed it to steady myself. I was so close to breaking down, but I couldn’t. I refused to give in to my need for comfort any more. Comfort only ever ended with me hurting. There was a reason I had chosen to face the rest of my life alone. It was less painful that way.

“Ava,” Mason started, but I cut him off.

“No! It’s enough, okay? I can’t do this anymore right now. Can we just…the phone records please. I need to find my brother. I…I just need Colt right now,” I admitted shakily, refusing to turn and look at either of them. I knew I’d break if I saw either of their faces.

CHAPTER 9

AVA

“Hey,” I greeted as I pulled open the door of the huge black truck that pulled up outside of Jack’s apartment building.

“Hey sweetheart,” Deacon greeted. He was dressed in jeans and a thick puffer coat that just made his enormous frame seem even bigger and definitely larger than life. He was also wearing a green beanie that perfectly suited his coloring and I couldn’t help but take several seconds to appreciate just how attractive the man was as he sat smiling brightly at me.

“Remember what we said. Call Mason if anything seems off,” Jack piped up as he wrapped his hands around my hips and lifted me clean off of the ground and into the truck.

“Fuck me Jack! I can get myself in a damned car!” I snapped as I glared at him.

“Hey men,” Deak greeted and Jack gave him a nod.

“Keep her very close. She’ll tell you she’s fine but she’s barely slept or eaten and she fell this morning,” Jack lectured like I wasn’t even sat right there between them. “I don’t even know why we’re letting you go and do this,” he added as he looked to me with disapproval.

“Letting me? Fuck you Jack. I’m thirty four years old and you are not my damned keeper. Who the hell do you think you are?” I growled.

“Okay, time to go I think,” Deacon spoke up. “Don’t worry. We’ll be fine,” he added as he looked to Jack. I wasn’t even sure if Jack heard the whole thing as I grabbed the door handle and slammed the door closed hard.

“Asshole!” I slammed my flat hand against the s=dashboard in anger as it flooded through me.

“I’m thinking he could have handled that better,” Deak agreed as he slowly pulled away from the curb, leaving Jack stood watching us with a scowl on his face.

“I am so sick of them treating me like I’m some cripple they need to take care of! I know I’m a mess, but I have managed alone for a long time and the last thing I need is them thinking they get to overtake the scraps that remain of my life!”

It had been one hell of a long morning as we went through Colt’s cell records and looked into each number individually. The guys hadn’t mentioned any of the relationship crap again, but they had fussed over me constantly, watching how much I ate and telling me I needed to drink more water. When I’d insisted on chasing down one of the leads we got from the cell records they’d both tried to stamp their foot down and stop me to the point where I’d lost it and called Deacon to come and get me. I had to get away from them before I did something very drastic to one set or even both sets of their balls.

“They care about you,” Deacon suggested and I turned to him with a glare.

“They’re being complete assholes. I’m not helpless and them trying to treat me like I am is just fucking with my head,” I sighed as I calmed some.

“Anyway, thanks for picking me up. While those guys are insane, I think they may be right about me not heading out alone until I have full use of both arms again,” I joked dryly. My shoulder still hurt like hell, but I’d tossed the sling the doctor had given me. I could handle a little pain, but that thing had been annoying the shit out of.

“Yeah. Gotta to agree with them on that. And it’s no problem. I’m not working until Saturday now,” he assured me. “Where are we going?”

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