Page 32 of Rise By Sin

“I’m okay. It was just a long walk and my legs…the muscles in them get fatigued so quickly now,” I tried to explain, even though it pained me to do so. I would never get over feeling shame about how weak and frail my body had become.

“Hey.” He stepped in front of me, forcing me to stop and placed his finger under my chin, lifting my head from where I had lowered it until I was looking way up into his face. “Stop whatever you’re thinking. You were shot in the spine and you’re back on your feet and walking, fighting. The only thing you should feel about that is pride at how strong you are.”

“Yeah. Really strong,” I scoffed as I held my trembling hand out between us.

“You’re strong,” he told me as he wrapped his huge hand around mine and just held it between us. “Toughest, and most stubborn damn woman I ever met,” he added with a smile.

“Whatever you say, big guy,” I dismissed him with a dramatic roll of my eyes. “Come on. Let’s get to your truck. I want to go back to Colt’s place.”

“What for?” Deak asked as he kept a hold of my hand between us and started walking at my side again. I knew I should shake off his hold, but I didn’t want to. It felt good, and even though I knew I was playing a dangerous game with my emotions, I just wanted to soak up a little more of his soothing comfort before I shook my self back to sense again.

“I want to look for that file Ky mentioned. Colt would have hidden it, I know he would, and I have an idea where it could be,” I explained,

When I stumbled again Deacon let go of my hand and rushed to wrap his arm around me, steadying me. Again I said nothing as we continued walking and he just kept his arm there, taking some of my weight from my exhausted legs so easily it astonished me.

I had no idea what I was doing. Hadn’t I just told the two guys I’d been in love with for years that I could never have a relationship? And now here I was allowing Deacon to touch me and see my weakness. I was ogling him every time I glanced up at him, taken aback each and every time by how handsome he was, especially when he smiled at me. I knew I had to stop all of it, but I just didn’t want to. How long had it been since I had anyone other than Colt care about me? Since I felt anything for a man at all, let alone the pulsing between my legs that I felt any time Jack, Mace, or Deak were around me. I just wanted to hold onto those things for a little longer, and if I hurt even more when it was over? Well at least I had given myself just a little peace to remember in the darkest moments.

CHAPTER 10

AVA

It was a relief to hear the security system at Colt’s apartment start beeping the second I opened the door and walked in. It meant the place had remained secure since I was last there and no one else had been there looking for his file, if that was even what they’d been searching for.

Deacon followed me in and as I typed in the alarm code he closed and locked the door behind us.

“At least it’s secure,” I told him as I leant against the wall for a moment. I needed to lie down for a while and get some rest. I knew I was pushing myself way too hard, but I had to find Colt, and nothing, not even my own fucked up body, was going to slow me down.

“How about we sit for a while? I can make some coffee and we could order some food for lunch?” Deacon suggested, again with his gentle suggestion, rather than trying to bulldoze me like Jack and Mason.

“I am definitely not saying no to food right now. Can you order something? I just want to check one place in Colt’s room. If the file’s not there I’ll search properly after we eat.”

“Sure,” he agreed easily. “You sure you don’t need any help?”

“No. It’s in the bottom of his closet. I can handle that,” I assured him and he just nodded before leaving me to head for the kitchen.

I took a deep breath and started down the hall to Colt’s room. A part of me was terrified of finding the file my brother had put together, because I had a hunch that scared the crap out of me. Ky had said all of the people who went missing had been linked to kink clubs across the city. And I had been coming fromTemplethe night that psycho motherfucker grabbed me. The fact Colt had been so obsessed with it all just added to the sick feeling I had in my gut. What if that monster hadn’t stopped with me? What if he had taken all of these missing people and tried to make them atone, just as he had done to me? Just the thought of it made my stomach churn violently. It sixteen people had been tortured, killed, and disappeared because of me, I didn’t know how I would ever live with myself. I had been too ashamed and scared to call the cops on the night I managed to escape and save myself. I had buried what happened and never uttered a word about it to anyone other than Colt. I had let that monster go and now…

I walked right into Colt’s huge closet, which was more like a dressing room really. I dropped my stick against the wall as I dropped awkwardly to my knees.

In the center of the space there was a leather covered bench, and once, not long after I moved in with Colt, I had walked in on him sliding it across the floor way too easily. At the time I hadn’t thought much about it, but when Ky mentioned the file, my memory flitted back to that day and my detective brain pieced something together.

One hard push on the bench had it sliding back with a gentle hiss of some kind of runner mechanism, and there below it was a hatch in the floor.

I pulled up the hatch and wasn’t surprised to find a digital safe in the floor beneath. Colt had always been obsessed with security. The key pad lit up as I hit the green button and I froze for a moment trying to work out what the key code could be. I tried Colt’s birthday, but the loud double beep was a sure sign that was wrong. The safe had obviously been there before I came into Colt’s life, so I doubted the code would have anything to do with me, but I couldn’t think of anything else, and the code for the security system on the apartment was my birthday, so I tried it anyway.

A mix of relief and trepidation ran through me as the screen flashed green, then the safe unlocked with a click of the lock releasing.

“Fuck Colt,” I uttered as I opened the heavy metal door and looked into the deep box below. Inside there was just one leather zip case. I had to lie down flat on my front to reach in and grab the thing, and getting up from that position proved difficult with how exhausted I was, but I managed and then I was staring at the innocuous looking zip folder that sat in my lap.

I took a huge breath in and then forced myself to unzip the leather case. I was pretty sure I’d never be ready for what I was about to see, so it was best to just rip off the band aid.

The second it opened pages and pages poured from it, the thing packed way too full with everything Colt had compiled in his insane investigation he’d had no fucking right to get himself mixed up in!

I tipped the case onto the floor and started to spread the pages out all across the floor space of the closet. There were a lot of printouts about a crime family in the city – The Owen’s – likely the Irish family Ky told us Colt had suspected of being mixed up in the skin trade. There were news reports about a RICO case against them that had made it to court, but been thrown out eventually on lack of evidence after a key witness went missing.

There were also pictures of men and women who had gone missing, and as far as I could see, the oldest one was just a year after I was attacked. Police had investigated after missing person reports were filed, but from what Colt had gathered, it seemed like there was no trace of the people who were gone, or any evidence of what happened to them. Most weren’t ever even reported as missing formally. It was just like they had all walked out on their entire lives and disappeared. The fact messages, E-mails, and phone calls had been made to loved ones or friends in each case only added the lack of interest from the police in the cases that were reported.

I found what I was truly looking for near the bottom of the huge pile of papers. Colt had gotten his hands on the police file for Helen Waters – the young woman who had worked for Colt atTemple, and whose body had been found near the highway.

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