Page 33 of Rise By Sin

As soon as I opened it up and flicked to the crime scene pictures I knew I had been right. This girl – Helen - she had marks all over her body, and they were chillingly familiar to the scars that covered my own. Then I saw it in the next image – the word that was still emblazoned in my own skin. That brand that he had scarred me with for life – the brand. SINNER. It was at the small of Helen’s back and as soon as I saw it my stomach revolted as bile rose up my throat. I tossed the file aside and scrambled to get to my feet. I stumbled across Colt’s room and fell to theground in the bathroom, just getting over the toilet before I lost the meagre contents of my stomach. I couldn’t stop the retching that came after, again and again as tears filled my eyes, as the horror of what I had done consumed me.

“Ava?” I heard Deacon’s heavy footfalls coming closer, then he was there, dropping to the tiles behind me and pulling my wild hair back from my face as the retching went on and on despite nothing else coming up. “Fuck! What’s wrong?” he asked, panicked, but I couldn’t stop to try and answer him. I could barely even breathe, and my eyes were tearing up so badly I could barely see either.

Just when I was sure it was never going to stop my taut stomach muscles seemed to finally relent and the heaving stopped. I was still fighting hard to get a breath in and I didn’t even think about how gross I had to be when I slumped back exhaustedly against Deacon.

“Just breathe now, sweetheart. Deep breaths,” he said gently as he pulled me back so I was leaning heavily into his front, then he banded an arm around me, stopping me from just slumping forwards.

“Mason,” I panted as I forced myself to look up at him. “Call Mason…please.” I had hidden from what happened to me for too long. While Mace and Jack knew something they didn’t know it all. Now the time had come. I knew I had to come clean. I had to tell Mason about what Colt had stumbled into because of me, and worst of all I had to tell him about all of the missing people who’s blood was likely all on my hands.

“Mace, it’s Deacon. Ava needs to soeak to you, but she’s not in a good way. I’m gonna put you on speaker,” Deak said quickly, then I could hear Mason.

“What the fuck do you mean she’s not in a good way?” he demanded.

“Mace,” I gasped breathlessly. “I…I need you to come. Colt’s. We’re at Colt’s. I n-need you to take my statement and h-help me. I th-think I know who has him a-and it’s bad…it’s s-so bad.”

“Ava? What the fuck? What happened? Are you okay? Deacon? Is she fucking alright?” Mason yelled down the phone.

“She’s exhausted, but I’ve got her. Just get here man, as soon as you can,” Deacon replied.

The realization hit me then at what I’d just said. I knew who had my brother. That monster likely had him. He could be torturing him as I sat there doing fucking nothing! He could have killed him and gotten rid of him already. It had been over a week!

I pushed Deacon’s arm from around my waist as I started to move. I had to get up and get myself together. I had to work the file Colt had put together and find this motherfucker. It was likely I was already too late, but there was no way in hell I was giving up until I knew for sure. Colt was alive until I found conclusive proof otherwise.

“Ava? Where are you going?” Deacon asked as I struggled to get to my feet. “I have to go, Mace.” He ended the call and then he was standing beside me where I clutched the edge of the vanity, just trying to get my head stop spinning long enough to get back to the file in Colt’s closet. “Sweetheart?” I felt Deacon wrap himself around me, then his enormous hands were gripping myhips and holding me steady against him. “Where are you going? You need to rest.”

“Colt,” I whispered. I felt too exhausted to even get the word out any longer. “I h-have to find him. Time’s running out.”

That reminder was all I needed to have me struggling out of Deacon’s embrace, but he wasn’t letting me go.

“Ava, just hold up for a minute, okay?” he gasped as he stilled my fight easily and turned me so I faced him. “Tell me what happened? Tell me why time is running out.”

“I found it…Colt’s file. I knew…I should have known sooner, but I…I know now. I know who has my brother.”

“Who?” he pushed as he reached for my hips again when I started to sway unsteadily.

“Him!” I cried as I flailed for the hem of the t-shirt I wore and ripped it up. “The m-man who did this. A psycho took Colt and t-time…there isn’t enough time!” I panted.

Deacon looked at the brand on the left side of my torso with utter horror. It was scarred over now, but the word was still clear to read. SINNER. That was exactly what that sick sonofabitch who took me and tortured me had branded me that night.

“Jesus Ava. That’s what happened…what that fucker did the night you were attacked?” he gasped.

“That’s why we have to find Colt. If that bastard has my brother then he’s being tortured just like I was, and I was only there one night. Colt…Colt’s been gone for over a week, Deacon! A weak! He could be…it might be t-too late already!”

I was losing it. No, it was too late. I’d already lost it. The terror of what my brother could be going through, or worse, the very real fear it was already too late, mixed with the guilt I felt of Helen’s death, along with who knew how many more? All because I’d been too ashamed and afraid to go to the police. It had crashed down the walls I had spent sp many years carefully erecting to protect myself. There was no more false bravado. No more making myself seem strong. That was all gone and I just felt lost and every bit as broken as I knew I’d always been.

“Mason is coming, okay? You need to try and calm down before he comes, otherwise you won’t be able to work with him to figure anything out. Why don’t I carry you to the living room and get you settled on the sofa, okay? Then I’ll bring the file to you so you can show Mason. Will that work?” Deacon offered.

I wanted to argue with him, but even as crazed as I felt I realized there was no way I was making it back around the corner to Colt’s room without ending up on my ass, and likely falling to pieces as a result. And he was definitely right that I needed to calm down before Mason arrived. He was going to lose it if he saw me mid meltdown as I was right then, and I could not risk him cutting me out of the investigation.

“Okay. Thanks,” I whispered with a sniffle. Deacon just nodded, then swept me up into his arms.

“Am I hurting you?” he asked as he readjusted me in his arms. I knew it had to be awkward to pick me up. I was far from small at five feet nine, but he managed it so easily that he almost made me feel petite.

“No. I’m good,” I replied with a weak smile. “I’m really sorry you keep seeing me like this. I swear I don’t usually lose my shit likethis. You just always seem to be closest when it happens since I came back here.”

“Like I told you that first night we met, I’m here for you whatever you need, honey. If that’s someone to be near when you want to lose your shit, I’m good with that. I like you Ava. You’re tough and smart and you don’t take shit from anyone. It’s a breath of fresh air, sweetheart,” he told me gently as we moved to the living room.

“I like you too Deacon, and I’m really fucking grateful you were the one to peel me off that sidewalk the first night outsideTemple,” I told him as I looped my arms around his neck, knowing it was a bad idea, but just wanting to be closer to him.

---