Page 71 of Rise By Sin

“I’ll be fine. I’m coming with you, Colt. No arguments.” I trusted the security Ky had hired. I’d looked into he company and they had a great reputation, but still, I didn’t want to leave mybrothers life completely in the hands of strangers. I had my gun, and I’d proved a few times in recent weeks I could still fight if it came to it, even as broken as I was. I needed to be with him, at least this first time he was leaving the apartment alone.

“Fine. I need to leave in an hour at the latest,” Colt relented with an annoyed shake of his head.

“I’ll be ready,” I agreed.

***

Three P.M. and I was completely sure of one thing – Colt’s normal life was boring as pig shit. We’d been to two of his restaurants, a wine bar, and now were in the back of a nightclub he owned in the city. Colt was in a meeting with the club manager, head of security and a ton of other staff I hadn’t even paid attention to when Colt introduced us. I was standing in the hallway, leaning against the wall, and trying hard not to die of boredom. Of course I could be inside the meeting. We had the two security staff Ky had hired watching out front and protecting Colt, but I’d made the mistake of going into the meeting that morning with Colt. The only thing that was more boring was standing in a hallway waiting was being inside listening to figures, and talk of work schedules, invoices, ordering systems, blah, blah, blah! No thank you!

My mind once again strayed to thoughts of Jack, Mason, and Deacon. I hadn’t seen them much in the last week as I got settled in with Kylan and Colt. I’d been busy trying to help Colt arrange the clearing of my house and crap hole apartment back in Chicago, and the shipping of all of my belongings to Colt’s place.

Of course Mason and Jack had been around to see Colt and check in with me, and when we’d had moments alone they’d both made it very clear they didn’t intend to let me go. I hadjust asked them both for some space to settle back into things in New York though. It was a lot all at once. So much was changing and my anxiety was high simply because I was returning not only to the city where I had been attacked so violently all those years ago, but also the very apartment I had returned to after escaping. I showered every morning in the same glass cubicle I had barely stood in that morning after, shaking, bleeding and in so much pain. Each night I went to sleep in the bed I had woken screaming in for days after Colt had found me and brought me home. Being back with Colt, especially after almost losing him was amazing, but I worried my mind wasn’t strong enough to deal with being back in that apartment, or indeed, that city.

Thankfully, Jack and Mason seemed to be giving me the space I needed to just try and find my place again, not that it stopped them from constantly texting to check on me. They were clearly making it clear they’d give me breathing room, but would never stop taking care of me. I was good with that. I loved them, and I sure as hell welcomed their care and attention now I had accepted I didn’t need to be ashamed in front of them.

But then there was Deacon too. I knew bringing him into everything would just complicate matters for us all. What Jack, Mace, and I had was established. Sure, it had lay dormant for years and was definitely rusty, but it was there, and we could so easily slip back into it if I gave in to them both, but my feelings for Deacon were too strong to push aside. Since Deacon seemed to feel the same, I felt we needed to at least explore things deeper and see where it went.

We’d been texting all week but with him working and me worrying about Colt and everything else going on, we hadn’t seen each other. I missed him. He was different to Jack and Mason. They were so intense most of the time, and I lovedthat about them, but the alpha in both of them could becoming overwhelming at times, especially after I had spent ten years living alone and listening to no one other than myself. Deacon wasn’t like that way. He worried and he was protective, but his nature was more laid-back and easier going. He didn’t try to push me into things, or assert himself over me. While I craved those things from Mason and Jack a lot of the time, I also just needed to be able to take charge sometimes too. Deacon let me do that, but while also always making me feel safe and protected when he was near. He reminded me of who I had become after the attack and before the shooting. He reminded me of how strong and badass I had been as a detective in CPD, and she hadn’t been so bad when I remember her.

I felt like I needed them all, and since they all seemed to be willing to try it, I wanted that. To try. I just needed to get my shit together enough to find the next steps with all of them.

“Appreciate it. Thanks for your time.” I looked up at the sound of Col’s voice. I hadn’t even heard the office door open, but Colt was shaking the hand of the club manager. He looked just like his old self – sharp suit, perfect hair, confident smile in place and exuding his usual charm. I didn’t know how he dad it after what he’d been through, but I wished he could teach me to hide my darkness the way he could. It had been a week and he seemed completely restored to himself. Was that even possible after a week at the hands of a psycho? A week of being tortured?

“Everything good?” I asked as I gave myself a shake and walked over to him, leaning heavily on my stick. I was tired after the full day we’d had, but I refused to let it show. Colt was doing an excellent job of faking it, so I would too.

“All done. Let’s head out,” he agreed with a nod of his head. He held his arm out for me to go before him, which I did, and he followed.

As soon as we got outside of the club and into the parking lot, Colt manhandled me closer to one of the security guys with us before I could even protest. He picked me up and plopped me back down again so fast I almost lost my footing and the baldheaded guy I’d been placed before barely manage to catch me.

“Colt!”

“Keep her safe. I just….one minute!” Colt called shakily over his shoulder but he was already running away from us to the side of the building and around the corner.

“The other protection guard looked to em with confusion as they both just watched him go.

“Follow him!” I yelled. “He’s the client! Follow him, damn it!” Thankfully, they both got to moving then, and I tried as hard as I could to move with pace after them. What the fuck was Colt playing at?

When I finally got to the corner of the building, breathless and shaking, I saw the two guards standing back. I had my mouth open about to ask them what the fuck use they were to anyone and what they thought they were doing when I heard my brother, coughing and spluttering. Panicked, I shoved past the both of them and found Colt on his knees in the tiny alleyway that ran down the side of the club. There was a space a few feet wide lined with a fence and Colt was knelt near the end, his back to me, and he was vomiting violently.

“Watch our fucking backs!” I hissed to them both, them I started down the uneven ground down the alleyway. When I got to Colt I dropped my stick and leaned heavily over his back, wrapping my arms around the front of his shoulders, holding him as tight as I could, just wanting him to know I was there in the only was I could get to him in the tight space.

“Bam,” he sighed as he used a tissue to wipe his mouth and sat up a little. He put his hand over mine and I could feel him shaking hard. He was gasping for breath and his skin was so cold against mine.

“I’m here,” I whispered as I pressed my head against the side of his.

“I…I’m sorry.”

“Don’t you dare apologize, Colt. Can you stand?” I asked him as I rubbed my hand up and down his bicep.

“Yeah. I’m alright. I just got overwhelmed I think,” he told me shakily.

“You’re having a panic attack. Believe me, I know,” I laughed lamely.

“No. It can’t be. There was nothing to set off such a thing,” he argued.

“Sometimes it’s not anything you can touch or see. Sometimes your own thoughts can trigger you. You’re tired and I’ll bet, in pain too. You let your defense’s down. That’s all. It’s normal after what happened to you. It will get better if you deal with it,” I told him, giving advice I’d never bothered to follow myself – not fully anyway.

“You’re right,” He agreed. “Maybe we should call it a day.”

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