Page 65 of Into the Fire: Before

I glanced around the corner and down the hall toward Caine’s room. The door was shut, but he had to be in there. He was so rarely outside this apartment. “Still,” I said before turning back to face Lin, “that had to have been hard. You were going toward something, but leaving something behind too.”

“I don’t see it that way,” he said. “I see it as a comfort. A retreat we can run to when we need it.”

“Have you done that?”

“Once or twice,” he said. “My second big real estate investment was a bust. Brooks was still making intern money, and Caine wasn’t working at all. And losing that building felt like…letting the both of them down. So I ran home, stayed with Mom and the dads for a few days, let them fuss over me until Caine marched in and dragged me home because Brooks was too mopey without me.”

I admired how open Lin was about all of it. “I can imagine that,” I said with a small smile.

Lin snorted. “Brooks ratted him out. Caine slept in our bed with Brooks the whole time I was gone.”

And the amorphous, misty relationship between Caine and the other two reared its head again. Lin was being so open, and I was curious and willing to exploit his eagerness to keep me engagedfor the time being. “So…so is Caine…like, you and Brooks are involved, but Caine…?”

“Prefers to speak for himself,” Lin answered, his eyes flicking to my right. I jumped up, turning to find Caine standing at the corner, arms crossed, brows furrowed.

When he’d held me for all those hours, all the gruff brushoffs felt like things of the past. Like he’d taken off a mask and let me see something he rarely let anyone see, ever. Now, though, that mask was firmly in place. Where Lin was all easy openness, ready and willing to share whatever I asked of him, Caine was a fortress, locked and armed and prepared to attack if needed.

I swallowed, and as much as my omega wanted to bow my head at his clear alpha agitation, I held his gaze. “I’m sorry,” I said. “I didn’t mean to pry. I was…just…”

“Curious,” Lin filled in for me. It felt like he was backing me up somehow, and the thought of a head alpha like Lin covering my back warmed a piece of me that had gone cold over the last weeks. “We’ve been chatting about our families and past pack life.”

“Hmph.” Caine strode past me to the sink to fix himself a glass of water. I met Lin’s gaze from the corner of my eye. He nodded, with a little jerk of his head toward Caine. An encouragement. I wondered if he was sending some similar encouragement down the bond to the other alpha.

I shrugged. “We’re basically living here for the time being, and I just realized how little we really know about you. All three of you. I…I just…” My bravado died in my throat as Caine glowered unrelentingly at me. I shook my head with a sigh, taking a step backward to hide out in the guest room, where Brea and I had set up residency after that first night. “It was stupid. Sorry.”

“I hate avocado.”

I halted at the sharp, strange confession. Caine looked exactly the same as he had a moment ago, except for the redness creeping up his neck. “You…?”

“It’s disgusting mush,” he said. With a lot of effort, I suppressed the laugh that wanted to break free at his comically pouty face. He may as well have been a little boy refusing to eat his dinner.

“Uh-huh,” I said instead.

“I’m afraid of heights. I prefer sherbet to ice cream. Dreamsicle is my favorite flavor. And I had a childhood fascination with moths.”

He stated the facts like they were state secrets I’d tortured out of him, his neck and face growing more and more red with each word. I opened my mouth to thank him for sharing, to signal he could stop if he wanted, but he continued on. The dam had sprung a leak.

“My parents were both dead by the time I was twelve and I bounced around the system after that. Lin and his family were the only people who stayed in my life more than a few months at a time back then. I still ran away after I turned eighteen. Made a lot of bad decisions, getting addicted to AlphX among the worst of them.”

My pounding heart sank into my stomach. His face didn’t change any, and his gaze never fell from mine. I could still sense how deep he was digging, how excruciating this kind of sharing was.

AlphX was a brutal drug, one that rewarded devotees with extraordinary highs and agonizing come-downs. At least, for alphas, hence the name. The drug targeted specific receptors in alpha brains to grant them a more intense, longer-lasting high than it did for betas. For omegas, the drug was lethal.

I thought back to the bits and pieces he’d given me before. About his alpha always fighting for control, how difficult beingaround other people was for him. “That’s why you don’t use suppressants and stuff?”

Supplements worked by engaging the same receptors as AlphX.

He nodded once, his jaw twitching as he ground his teeth together before carrying on like this confession were just the same as all the others falling out of his mouth.

“I’ve kissed four people in my entire life. Lin was the first. I don’t…” He faltered for the first time. “I can’tbewith someone unless I know them. Unless they feel safe to me. It hasn’t happened very often.”

Warmth pricked the corners of my eyes. “Caine—”

“Lin and Brooks are pack. And you and Brea are here. Youneedto be here. But you’re not pack. Okay?”

Lin pushed off the wall he was leaning on, stepping toward me like he wanted to soften the blow of Caine’s words. He didn’t need to.

“I get it,” I said, giving my best reassuring smile. “We just crashed right into your life. I’m not trying to take something you don’t have to give.” I backed toward the guest room door. “I’m gonna lay down for a bit.”

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