Page 56 of Lightning in a Mason Jar

And we sat in the hot car like drowned rats with our windows open to keep from suffocating.

Russell swiped drops of rain off the face of his watch, his normal calm fraying. “We’re not gonna make it to the connecting pickup in time. She’ll have to spend the night.”

At least he didn’t blame me for throwing the schedule more out of whack by searching for Libby when she’d failed to show at the library. She’d been “off” since imagining she saw a ghost wandering around town last week. When pressed for details, she’d been hazy—simply saying everyone had a double in the world. Although she’d been forgetful lately. We were all struggling and mourning in our own ways.

“Russell,” I sighed, wanting to kick myself, “I don’t know when we’ll be able to set up another transport for the next leg. Who’s going to trust us after how we botched this meetup?”

“Don’t ask me,” he said over the din of rain hammering the roof. “I’m wondering how Granny pulled this off on her own for so long.”

“She had a lot more practice. At least that’s what I keep telling myself.”

Russell’s cheeks puffed with an exhale. “We both need to take a breath. We’ll figure it out. Even Annette had occasional hiccups in her plans.”

None that I’d ever noticed. “You’re only saying that to make me feel better for chasing around after Libby.”

“I’m being honest. And while we’re being up-front, we both know when things derailed today.”

He left the words unspoken.

But he wasn’t wrong. Keith had skipped school. Again. He’d become increasingly a handful, and Libby had spent her morning looking for him, only to find him back home in his room. He’d been playing the Atari video system Russell had given him two weeks ago for his birthday. The teen refused to say where else he’d been, still angry over not being allowed to get his driver’s license. Libby had gone for a walk to cool off and never returned.

Russell plucked at his sweaty T-shirt. “Do you have any thoughts on where we should put this girl tonight? And for however many days it takes us to work out another plan?”

There weren’t a lot of temporary housing options in Bent Oak, and the few that existed were far from private. Discretion was everything in the network.

“The cabin maybe? It’s out of the way. If anyone asks, I’ll say she’s my cousin.” Even thinking about Annette’s cabin made my heart squeeze in my chest. We hadn’t made much progress in sorting through her things with the pain of losing her still so fresh.

“That’s probably the simplest solution.” He scratched his eyebrow. “Except ...”

I sighed. Hard. “It breaks Annette’s cardinal rule. Never use the cabin for a leg of the journey. Except Annette lived there then. It’s empty now. How about we decide when we see her? We’ll trust our instincts and take it from there.”

“Okay, I can see your point about letting the girl stay there temporarily—if our instincts tell us she’s not a risk. At least Granny’s house would be put to good use.” He skimmed back a strand of my hair that had slid loose from my ponytail. “Of course, if you became my wife, we would have a ready-made home.”

My gut knotted. We’d been over this a half dozen times already. I loved him. He loved me. Why couldn’t that be enough?

“You know about my past. I can’t.” After telling him about my marriage, I’d revealed more snippets over time, gauging his reaction, waiting for the moment he would pull away from me. Because I wasn’t divorced. I couldn’t give him children—even if our lives magically became safe.

Or because I’d been placed in a psychiatric hospital.

Telling him that part had frightened me most. Except he deserved to know, to understand who I was and all those reasons why I couldn’t marry him. After each confession, he’d held me against his broad chest and told me again how much he loved me, whether I was Winnie or Eloise.

Now he linked hands with me, rubbing his thumb over my ring finger. “We don’t have to do the official wedding thing. I wouldn’t want to risk your safety, and that extra paper trail at the courthouse could be a problem.”

The way he cared for my well-being meant more to me than I could express, but I couldn’t be selfish. “You deserve so much more.”

“How about you let me decide what I deserve. What I want.” He cradled my face in his broad hands. “I would like for us to wear my grandparents’ wedding bands. If even an unofficial exchange of vows is too much for you, I don’t need the paper to feel married. My heart is committed fully to loving you for the rest of my days on earth.”

This man.

Thiseverythingman.

Tears blurred my vision more than the gush of rain outside our vehicle. I didn’t know if I could accept his offer of a life together—I still struggled with how unfair that would be for him. But Russell carried such a calm confidence, I could almost envision our future.

My hands fluttered to his chest just as headlights pierced through the torrential night, breaking our intimate spell.

He glanced at the approaching van, then back at me. “Just think about it, my love. We’ll have time to talk once we’ve got our guest settled at the cabin.”

“All right. Later.” That was as close as I could come to accepting his proposal, even an informal one with no paper trail. “Now, let’s focus on this poor little girl who needs us.”

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