Page 65 of Lightning in a Mason Jar

The nurse with kind eyes and a tight red perm stood, motioning toward the corridor. “I’ll show you both the way to the surgical waiting area.”

Both ... How had I forgotten about Keith? Worse yet, how had I let concern for Libby slide to the back corners of my mind? “And Libby Farrell? How is she?” I asked the nurse. “This is her son.”

“They’ll be moving her up to a room when one becomes available. Then you’ll be able to see her.” She hugged the clipboard to her chest. “I’m so sorry about the fire at your place. Thank goodness you’re all alive.”

I slid an arm around Keith’s shoulders, feeling the shudder rack him. Guilt gnawed at my already ragged nerves. I’d let my friend down by not looking after her child. Yes, I loved Russell, with all my heart, but a mature heart should also have room for friends and family. Had I fallen into old habits of letting my love become obsessive? I hoped not, because that dishonored my friends and Russell.

I owed him my best. I just prayed he would live to receive it—and place that ring on my finger.

An hour, then two ticked by on the wall clock with no news about Russell’s surgery. Already three other families had left and another had come in to wait. No matter how many times I told myself that no news was good news, I worried over the length of the procedure.

Thea had shown up to bring us food from the cafeteria with Destiny in tow. Keith had stepped in to see Libby with a meal for them both.Meanwhile, Destiny sat as far away from me as possible and tore into the cafeteria fried chicken like it was five-star cuisine.

I cradled a Styrofoam cup of coffee in my hands but didn’t do more than inhale the scent. Eating wasn’t an option for me either. My stomach was in turmoil.

Thea tapped a pack of sugar into her cup of hot tea. People in town joked about Thea’s gloves, calling her the Queen of England. The fitted skirt-and-jacket sets didn’t help. I wondered if Thea would ever let go of her worry of fingerprints being traced. But then the past could be hard to shake, especially on an evening like this.

“Thank you for coming up here,” I said, grateful that all the decision-making didn’t rest solely on my shoulders. My confidence had taken a serious hit. “I appreciate you picking up the pieces tonight.”

“Of course. You just focus on yourself and Russell.” She blew into her tea and took a sip before setting it aside.

I got her point, but after the way I’d all but forgotten about Keith, I needed to pull myself together. “You’re all dressed up. Please tell Howard I’m sorry for cutting short your date.”

“Don’t give it another thought.” She waved off my concern, her eyes tracking the staff as they walked back and forth along the corridor, shoes squeaking.

Thea never missed much. No doubt she wouldn’t have missed the phone call and lost track of Libby. At that moment, I felt defeated, like I should throw my hands up and pass over the whole operation before someone else got hurt.

“Thea, I am so afraid.” I’d never uttered those words out loud. Not even in my previous life.

Thea gave me her stern look that was somehow laced with caring. “You are the bravest person I know. The way you and Russell have built a relationship in this convoluted existence of ours is nothing short of incredible ...”

“You might want to rethink that. Russell has been proposing to me, and I keep telling him no. In fact, I turned him down again this evening.”

“Honey, I’m so sorry.” She slid a gloved hand over mine and squeezed. “Do you mind if I ask why?”

“So many reasons.” I realized that I’d never shared anything about my past with her. Thea had every reason to assume my life was just as I’d told her. That my secrets only involved the help I gave Annette. “Do you understand I landed here in much the same way that you did?”

“I wondered,” she said with a sigh, “but I didn’t know for sure.”

“Russell understands too and says it doesn’t matter to him ... The legality of a marriage ...” My voice cracked on the last word, out of fear and regret that I may have missed my chance with him. Instead, I focused on Thea. “Were you single—before coming here? You don’t have to answer if you would rather not.”

“Is that the reason you won’t make it official with Russell? Because you have someone out there?”

I looked around to check again that we wouldn’t be overheard by Destiny or anyone else, then measured my words carefully all the same. “According to the courts, I’m legally dead. So anyone who may have been attached to me in some way is free to move on.”

“Why not go ahead, then?” Thea’s eyes held no judgment. Only caring.

“That’s exactly what I’m asking myself.” I rubbed the empty place on my ring finger and called myself ten kinds of a fool. It was one thing to deny myself happiness. But it wasn’t fair of me to deny Russell’s when he’d been nothing but wonderful to me. I glanced back at Thea. “What about you and Howard? You two have been dating for quite a while.”

“He has plans to run for town council one day, maybe even be the mayor. If I tell him, I’ll put him in an awful position. If I don’t tell him, that could blow up in my face too.”

How well I understood. “You could walk away from him.”

“That’s the one thing I can’t do. I’ve lost so much. I won’t lose him too.” Her dark eyes flashed with a fire that reminded me what a formidable woman she was.

“Then you’ll have to follow your heart on how best to handle that.” The words sounded hypocritical to my own ears. If I had followed my heart, I would have accepted Russell’s proposal.

“Thank you for the advice. I have to admit, I’m better with logic and math than I am at trusting emotions.” Thea patted my hand again before nodding toward Destiny. “If you’re okay staying here with our bottomless pit over there, I would like to pop in and check on Libby.”

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