Page 54 of Scarlet Secrets

But she ignores me as she rocks and hugs Sasha, murmuring things to him until he slowly calms finally, like a fucking miracle, he’s calm enough to hook a handful of her hair and stare up at her with a smile. “Dino.”

Dino? He’s calling her Dino? Or maybe he has a dino somewhere. But he’s looking at her with adoration, like she’s a perfect mama substitution until his own mama wakes up.

My jaw tenses as they talk, and she nuzzles him, blowing raspberries on him until he giggles.

And instead of happiness or relief, my chest gets tight. I know I should be happy he’s responding to one of us and he’s stopped trying to bring the mansion down by screams alone. But I wanted it to be me, his father. Instead, my son prefers his aunt, whom he’s never met. Shit, maybe they did as Alina knew Erin had a kid, but it would have been once and briefly.

It doesn’t matter, I’m a failure. My son hates me.

Fuck.

Sasha finally falls back asleep, and she carefully puts him back on the little bed made up on the sofa. My sister spends a while stroking his hair until her shoulders rise and fall and she gets to her feet.

“I’m glad you found them, Demyan. I’d hate to think of Erin and this sweet little boy out there. Whoever took me probably thinks she’s part of our family since they tried to kidnap her, too.” She’s speaking Russian, her pain and anger and despair more pronounced. “Where is Erin? I told him she was sleeping but…” Her eyes go wide.

“She’s fine,” I say. “She…” I nod. “She’s sleeping.”

“Okay.”

I look at my son. “He hates me; he thinks I’m a monster.”

“No, he doesn’t. He’s a little boy and you’re a big man, Demyan. I think it’s just been Erin and her son, no father or boyfriend, just them. So…” She offers a sad, tired smile. “He woke with strangers in a strange place. It’ll take time, but he’ll come around.”

I have to tell her. “Alina, you don’t understand. I… I met Erin once before. In New York. Three years ago.”

“So she should…” she trails off, her gaze locking on mine. “Demyan?”

“He’s my son.”

My sister closes her eyes. “I don’t have the bandwidth right now, but… you didn’t rescue them to protect them?”

“She kept my son from me. I never knew, Alina. He’s mine, and she hid my son from me.”

“Demyan?”

“She’s here, upstairs. She’s not going to see him. Right now, how I’m feeling, she won’t see him before he’s twenty-one.”

“That’s going to win his favor.”

I give her a sharp look. “Alina.”

“This is… this is complicated. I’m going to bed. I can’t… I’m sorry.” She squeezes my hand. “It’ll take time. He doesn’t hate you; he’s just scared. He’ll come around.”

She leaves, head low, and I hate I dumped all that on her.

“He’ll come around,” I whisper.

I hope so, and deep down, intellectually, I know that. But it doesn’t make it better. And it doesn’t stop how I feel inside.

The failure that my father accused me of being.

Chapter Fourteen

ERIN

I’mbeyond frustrated and I can’t stop the sobs that rack me. Everything is black and empty and consuming. Even getting up is difficult. I could lie here and just die.

But I’m not going to.

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