Page 84 of Finding Yesterday

It’s fifteen minutes before the ambulance arrives, but Daddy’s wheezing has calmed, so that’s a good sign. I’ve never been so grateful that Hudson made us both stay up to date on our CPR certification for Tangz. That’s something I’ll never let lapse. Well, that and a liquor license.

We call Uncle Ozzie to see if he can watch Dylan, which he’s happy to do. Then Nate, Emma, and I follow the ambulance to North Georgia Medical.

We’re glad there isn’t much of a wait at the ER, especially on the Fourth of July, and Daddy’s put in a room relatively quickly. It takes a few hours when it’s all said and done, but his tests all come out fine. No food traveled into his airway, the most dangerous thing that can happen after a choking incident.

They praised us for our quick rescue maneuver and bringing him right in.

As Daddy stays for observation, Emma, Nate, and I head to the front desk to get Daddy’s discharge papers. Before we get there, Emma stops and says, “Claire?”

I approach her. “Yeah?”

She shakes her head as she bursts into tears. “You saved Daddy’s life.”

“I just did what I was trained to do.”

She pulls me into a hug, and Nate joins in. Nate’s voice is unsteady when he says, “You saved him, Claire. We would’ve lost Daddy.”

We all hold each other for a few moments. I’m sandwiched between my brother and sister.

It’s amazing.

When Nate pulls away, he continues, “I don’t know what we’d do without him.”

“Me neither,” Emma says. “I couldn’t imagine my world without him in it.”

Nate blinks. “And it took so long to get used to Mama not being here.”

I nod slowly. “I’m still trying to figure out how to get used to that,” I say just above a whisper.

They both stop and stare at me with their red-rimmed eyes, a flash of deep understanding in their gazes.

* * *

DADDY CALLS MEinto his room, so Emma and Nate leave to get the car. When I walk in, it takes everything I have not to burst into tears. I was strong in the moment when I had to be, but I don’t feel strong now.

Daddy’s face is still paler than normal, although it’s much better than it was. He looks so fragile sitting there in that hospital gown, but he smiles. It’s weak, but I know it’s the best he can do right now. That tears my heart into pieces.

“Can I have a hug?” His voice is hoarse.

“Of course.” I run up to him and throw my arms around him, tears leaking from my eyes. Holding him in tight like I used to when I was little, I find comfort in his Santa Claus belly and brawny arms.

When he pulls out of the hug, he takes my hands in his. I’d know those calloused, thick hands anywhere—only Daddy’s hands, after a lifetime of working on a vineyard.

“Honey, I don’t express myself well, and I’m sorry about that,” he says, his eyes misting.

“Don’t, Daddy, it’s okay, you don’t have to.” I brush a wiry strand of gray hair off his face.

“I do have to, so please let me.” He meets my gaze, and there’s a heaviness in his eyes. “I didn’t give you everything you needed after your Mama died, and I’m really sorry about that.” He shakes his head, looking to the floor. “You seemed to take it so much harder than your brother and sister did. I think they just always had each other.”

“Yeah, they did.” I manage a soft smile.

“But something I never told you, something I couldn’t admit to you because I couldn’t admit it to myself…” He swallows hard. “As you grew into a teenager, it was tough for me to be around you.” His lips quiver as he continues. “You’re just so much like your Mama, Claire.”

I nod, words escaping me. The tears in my eyes are making everything blurry, but I keep my focus on Daddy. He needs that from me.

“The face you make when you’re happy, it’s like Christmas morning. And it’s a spitting image of her.” A soft smile spreads across his face, but then it falls away. “It always makes me miss her.”

“I miss her too, Daddy.” I squeeze his hand. “So much it hurts.”

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