Pushing off the chair I stalk towards him as well as I am able. My head screams at every step, but I don’t falter, and hide the fact that even that small distance made me catch my breath. “You have no idea what I am or am not capable of, Smith. And I’m telling you. I. Am going. Down.”
Shaking his head, he says firmly, “I’m not doubting you, Kailani. I don’t want your brain blown to pieces. Your nose is still bleeding off and on. Youreyesare bleeding, for Christ’s sake. We need to get you checked out. You go down there, with no shields and no protection, what do you think is going to happen. They’ll be fine there for another hour.” He stops, considers his words, and says softly, “Well, they won’t get any worse, in any case.
Slightly surprised, I reach up and touch my fingers to my nose. They come away bright with new blood. He’s right, and I know it, but I’m gearing up to fight anyways, when a tired voice says from behind me, “I’ll go with her. I can shield her a bit longer, I think.”
Turning to Gemma, I take in her appearance. Her eyes are circled in dark, almost bruise-like shadows. She looks exhausted and sick and sad. I point to her and then to the hole. “You? Going in there?” Gemma has a deep, almost desperate fear of dark and enclosed spaces. It was completely irrational, and the levels of panic she hit when she felt trapped were unbelievable. We had actually had to remove her closet door when we first moved into our place at Lachy’s, it was so pervasive. There was no chance she’d make it down the ladder into the hole. She nods at my questioning tone. “You can’t go in there.”
Turning back to Smith dismissively, I try again. “I think I can hold it long enough to go down and talk to them, Smith.”
Gemma makes a frustrated sound and pushes forward. “I’m going with you.”
“Don’t be an idiot,” I say, brushing her off. “You wouldn’t last a minute down there and you know it.”
“Youdon’t be a fucking idiot,” she retaliates. “You’re barely standing up right now. You need to trust that I can do this so we can go help those women, Kai.”
Wheeling around to face her, I bite out the words so viciously they taste bloody: “Trust you?Trust you? That willneverhappen again, you understand me? I wouldn’t trust you to give me water if you had a well and I was dying of thirst.Trust you.” I scoff angrily.“And don’t fucking call me Kai. That’s what my friends call me.”
She recoils as though I have slapped her, and her face drains of color. Closing her eyes briefly, I see her swallow and then turn to address Smith. “Icando it. We can do it. If you give us a chance.”
It’s clear he’s torn. He wants those women out of that pit and doesn’t want to wait another hour until that can happen. His face tightens, and he assents, albeit reluctantly.
“The moment, the fuckinginstant, you feel yourself falter, I want you out, you understand? If Doll here can’t maintain her shielding, if you feel like you’re losing it, you come. The fuck. Out. No discussion. You understand? No debate on this, Reed.”
I clench my jaw. “I don’t want hernearme.”
He shakes his head. “No debate, Reed. If you’re going, she’s going with you.” His face softens as he looks at me, and he moves me aside with him, leaving the rest of the group a few feet away. “I understand if you can’t do this, Kailani. But if you can, if you can put everything else to the side just for now, you can help those women. You just have to lock everything else down.”
Staring at the floor of the factory, I take several deep breaths, trying to find enough strength to build some shaky walls, enough to last long enough for me to get the women out. Building them feels like little needles being pushed into my temples, but I get them up enough that I don’t think I’ll pass out. Maddox looks at me questioningly.
“Okay?”
“If I didn’t know better, Smith, I’d think you were concerned about me,” I respond sharply. He winces slightly, and I bite out, “Don’t think I’ve forgotten that you knew about all of this…” I wave my hand towards Gemma and Deo, who are hovering with Walker, looking anxious. Maddox nods once and exhales deeply.
“I can’t fix it now, Kailani. But–”
“You can’t fix it atall, Smith. And it’s not your responsibility, hmmm? We’re not friends. We’re not even coworkers. You’re the boss, and I’m the flat-out fool who signed on for this shit. So just fucking stop.” I step away from him, saying, “I can’t do this now. It’s taking energy and focus I don’t have to spare.”
I walk over to the hole in the ground and swallow convulsively. Gemma approaches from behind me, trembling, but moves towards the ladder. “I’ll have to go down first. From what you said she’ll need shielding as soon as she hits the floor.”
“I... uh... I…” I try to speak, but the throbbing echo of pain pushes out from the pit so strongly I can barely stay upright. “I can taste it from here.”
Gemma goes ever paler, if possible, then exhales sharply, and starts down the ladder. She’s clearly terrified, and as her eyes disappear below the edge of the floor, I can hear her moan softly in terror. I start down immediately after her, and it feels for all the world like I’m descending into hell.
There are lights on at the bottom of the ladder, but the darkness is the sort that swallows light rather than is chased away by it. Gemma is swaying on her feet but grabs my hand, and a ghost of her normal numbing washes over me. It’s barely enough to do anything, but I can tell it’s all she has in her, and it eases the pinprick sensation in my head enough that I can breathe without pain. I don’t even bother to scan the basement – it’s clear where the women are. Their corner feels like a shadow in shadows, like when you’re in bed at night surrounded by darkness, but there’s always an area that looks darker than the darkness. That’s where these women are.
I move unerringly toward them. The ground is wet and rocky, with sharp, jagged pieces of broken stone scattered on the mud. There’s no actual floor here, just a hollowed-out, muddy pit. The air is thick and smells like mold and feces and death. For the first time I realize I’m gripping Gemma’s hand back, not just letting her hold mine, both of us crushing the other’s fingers in a panicked grip.
As we approach the corner, I can’t hear any movement. Even though the sounds from the floor above are muffled, it’s impossible to tell there are living people here. But as my flashlight gets close enough to the dimly lit corner, it shows the outlines of five ghostly figures huddled together, eyes wide in pale faces, dirty and bleeding hands clutched together. I stop about five feet away from them, and we stare at each other, no one moving.
I start speaking softly, “Hi. I’m Kailani, and this is Gemma, and we’re here to help you, if we can.”
There’s no response. I look to Gemma for her help, but it’s clear that she’s barely holding on. Her eyes are wild, and tears are streaming down her face, her body practically vibrating in terror. Her shielding is pulsing now, the numbing ebbing in and out, causing my brain to pound, and I’m pretty sure she can’t hold it much longer.
“Gemma?” I say quietly.
“Hmmm?” she replies, her breath coming in frantic, hummingbird flutters now.
“I need you to think about something else. Close your eyes for a minute and think about something else.”