Page 145 of Gates of Tartarus

“Until then, you’re not worried about being overheard? I wondered why you chanced a video call.”

Elizabeth lifts her shoulders. “I’m in the mood to be reckless. Besides, with Fallon here, there isn’t any risk. Isn’t that right, Fallon?” she says, raising her voice.

All of a sudden, everything goes blank.

???

I blink open my eyes to see four uneasy faces looking down at me. I’m cold, so cold, and feel like I’m going to be sick, but there’s no time to breathe through the sensations and try to ground myself. I reach out, frantic, patting almost blindly for my phone. Someone places it in my hand, and I stab at the screen, trying to find Kailani’s number. It flashes up immediately, thank God, and I stab again and begin to type out the letters. I’m now shaking so hard I can only manage “Yes” before pressing send. Then I collapse against the wall, curling into a ball and wrapping my arms around me, mute and shivering.

Just Girl Talk

Thursday, 6 December – Kailani

Get somewhere safe, he says, like that’s evenpossibleright now. I’m shaking, sitting in a breakroom, directly down the hall from... I can’t even think. I can’tthink. My head hurts, and I’m shaking, body vibrating with tension. I swallow convulsively, trying not to throw up. The access we’ve given... the sheer amount of information… If I’m right… Christ. I can’t think.

My phone vibrates, and I glance down at it. Less than five minutes have passed since I called Maela… it feels like an eternity, but less than five minutes since I left Elizabeth’s office, ducked into the restroom, and half-whispered, half-yelled at my strange counterpart…

Looking down at my phone, I see a text from Maela with a single word:Yes.

Yes.Yes. Shit.Shit, shit, shit, shit. I have to get out, calmly. I don’t know how, without coming apart. It’s betrayal after betrayal after betrayal. My shields are weak, my mind barely sewn together in jagged, lopsided pieces… taking a few deep breaths, I’m just about to leave, when the door opens, and Elizabeth’s tight, cold voice fills the corridor outside the room.

“... well, it needs to be reworked then. The formula... I don’t have time for this… Fallon?” she calls over her shoulder, clearly assigning work, “you need to contact the... Why is this door locked? Is someone there?” she asks sharply, voice ringing out, clearly no longer speaking into the phone.

Running through my options rapidly, I come to a decision and pray it’s not the wrong one.

“Me, Elizabeth.”

“I’ll call you back,” she says under her breath, and then, in the concerned tone of an older sister, “Kailani? Are you alright? I thought you’d left.”

I open the door, not hiding the trembling of my hands. “I’m just... my head was hurting, and I didn’t think... I just needed to lay down for a minute. I’m sorry I didn’t ask… I locked it just – after everything that happened, I…”

Elizabeth’s soothing voice interrupts my rambling. “Ofcourse, Kailani. Of course.” Worry lines her face as she takes in my pallor – grey skin, hollow eyes – I know how I look at the moment and pray she accepts my explanation. “Kailani,” she says gently, “can I have my doctor come check you? No scans, no bloodwork, I promise. I’m worried about you.”

“I…” my phone vibrates again, reminding me of the text from Maela, and something in my response must be off. Elizabeth’s eyes sharpen slightly.

“Something important?” she asks.

“Yes, actually,” I say, praying to all the gods above and below that this will work. “I don’t... I don’t want to do this anymore.”

“This?” she asks.

“I mean... this…” I wave my hands around a little, seemingly searching for the right words. “I don’t want to have my brain blown up. I don’t want accidents anymore, or guns pulled on me, or obnoxious co-workers.” I let panic, fear, frustration fill my voice. “I don’t want to doubt the people I work with, or deal with racist assholes every day. I want to be safe, make some money, and help some people.”

“What are you saying?” she asks, the edge of a smile entering her voice.

“I’m saying I want to join you. Full time. If that offer is still on the table.”

Her eyes light up, and she’s about to speak, when Fallon approaches Elizabeth from behind and shows her something on the tablet that has her cocking her head to the side like a curious, slightly suspicious bird.

“Well, wonderful, of course, Kailani! And the text?”

I nod. “I called Maela when I got to the breakroom and told her I’m done. And I’m taking you up on your offer. And would she join me.”

Elizabeth leans forward now, eagerness in her stance, almost vibrating in anticipation. “Did you? And what did Maela say?”

Flashing my phone at her, Elizabeth can clearly read the single word that lights up.Yes.

Secret Squirrels

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