Page 166 of Gates of Tartarus

“It was justwhat?”

“It was just something small, Kai. Just something small I could do to make you happy.”

His voice is steady and blank, and I look at him for a very long time.

“That’s the only reason? Just to make me happy?”

He shrugs and nods. “It’s really stupid in the long run. What difference does a cherry make, right?”

Inhaling deeply, I force myself to sit back in the chair, finally relaxing slightly from my awkward perch on the edge, and I pick up my spoon. Hideo watches through confused eyes, and I reach over and nudge his spoon with mine.

“Eat,” I command quietly. “It’s going to melt.”

He picks up his spoon cautiously, and we take a bite together, both staring at the table in front of us. We’re quiet for several long moments, and then I slowly reach out my free hand, sliding it across the table towards Hideo’s, and hesitantly take his in mine. I sense more than hear him stop breathing and can tell he’s desperately restraining himself from moving, trying to give me time and space to make up my mind.

“Happy Birthday, Hideo,” I say quietly, and he lets out a quiet sigh, before we finish our sundaes in silence, fingers entwined, linking us from across the table.

The Brady Bunch

Monday, 10 December – Kailani

“Lach?” I say quietly, “you there?”

There’s a muffled rumble from the phone, and I can sense more than hear his attention focus. “Well hey there, Suge,” he replies, his warm voice wrapping around me like a weighted blanket, heavy and comforting. “I miss your face.”

Smiling, I curl up in the small chair by the window in my hotel room. “Hey, Bear. Sorry it’s so early your time. Or late. I don’t know.”

“It’s never too early to hear your voice, Kai. How’s it going there?”

“It’s going. We’re headed to tour the Tower this afternoon.”

If I close my eyes, I can picture his face, see him nodding. “Nice. You’ve wanted to go there forever. Someone’s going with you, right? You’re not heading out on your own?”

“Yeah. The guys. Gemma.”

There’s a smile in his voice that I can almost touch. “Gemma, hunh?”

“Yeah. We… we’re trying... we’re family, right? So. Yeah.”

“Good. I think that’s good, Kai.”

“You’d do the same?” I ask him, suddenly anxious.

“We’re a family, right?”

“Right,” I whisper.

“Well, that’s your answer then,” he says matter-of-factly.

“I’m trying to learn what that means, Lach.”

“I know, Suge. I know. But there are a million different types of families. It doesn’t just have to mean one thing. You know, people always say ‘we’re not the Brady Bunch’, but even the Brady Bunch wasn’t a ‘normal’ family at the time. They were a blended family. It’s not like they were the mark of the perfect family, even at the time. And,” he adds as an afterthought, “I’m like 99% sure that the one kid was sleeping with his mom or something.”

“Lach!”

“I’m serious. The point is... whatisfamily, Kai? You’re searching for something you haven’t defined for yourself. We don’t need to be typical. We don’t need to be Hallmark. We just need to work. Family isn’t blood in your veins, Kai. It’s who you’d spill blood for, who you’d defend with blood.”

There’s a long pause. “I’m trying to forgive Hideo.”

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