Page 86 of Gates of Tartarus

“Why are you here?

“Why areyouhere?” comes the immediate reply. Silence again, stretching so long I almost fall back asleep, and then a strained voice mutters, “I can’t actuallydomuch, you know? I’m feeling like this is all out of my hands. I don’t like the way things are going; I don’t like what it’s doing to her. I’m worried every minute of every fucking day what this will mean for her. And I have no choice in the matter. I just... I just wanted to check on her. And then Smith said we had to run through some new information and followed me here. I wasn’t intending… I just... She doesn’t really let anyonein, you know? It’s you, me, Gemma. That’s it. But she doesn’t let any of us in, not really. So I can’t do much. I don’t know what I’m saying, man.”

Another pause, and a lower tone replying, “I know. I understand. We’re close, probably as close as she lets anyone get. But I never see her unguarded. Never see her with her walls down. And unless she feels she can take those walls down with me, she’ll never… Tonight was a fluke, you know. She didn’t invite me. I was meant to be away for the weekend, but the plans got canceled, and I came back and could feel her crying from my place. I wouldn’t normally come over, but I knew Gemma was gone, and I was worried something had happened. And there she was, in a puddle on the floor because of some song, and she looked up at me andsmiled. She just... I’ve never seen her look like that before. Just... open. And so I stayed. But this wasn’t planned, Hideo.”

Silence again, and then, so quietly I can barely make out the words, “I’m not further along than you. This... we’re equals. For now.”

“I don’t know what you mean…”

“Oh, I think you do. She doesn’t. But you do.”

The fire makes a loud, popping noise as the logs settle, and the two men are quiet once more. With the flare of heat, I descend back into sleep. When I next wake, the fire has died out, and a faint hint of daylight is coming through my window. An extra blanket has been laid over the top of me, and on a small table beside me is a glass of water and a bottle of Motrin. The cabin is empty. I stand up unsteadily and look out the window overlooking the porch. Christmas lights illuminate the early morning gloom, shining brightly, hanging off every available surface. Clutching my blanket tightly around my shoulders, I just stand, watching their reflection on the snow, the echoes of conversation I overheard the night before lost to memory as the last hold of sleep drifts from my mind.

Red Ginger

Saturday, 24 November – Kailani

Despite it being so early, I decide to get on with the day. Vague impressions of Hideo and Lachy being by the cabin skirt my mind, but the two bottles of wine have washed away any of the finer details. While I’m more than a little confused as to why the two men had stayed, and more than a little embarrassed when I think about how they had seen me, I decide to deal with all of that later and just enjoy the rest of my limited time off. After lingering over coffee while watching the sun come up, I decide to shower before finishing the Christmas decorations from the night before. The heat of the water washes away the excess of the previous night, and by the time I wash my hair and brush my teeth, I’m feeling almost like myself again. A mildly wine drenched version of myself, anyway. Still wrapped in a towel, I walk to the kitchen to refill my coffee and start breakfast. Grumbling at the lack of food in the fridge, I realize that I need to make a quick run into town before doing anything else. Just as I decide to go get dressed, though, there is a gentle brush of two minds against my own. Flinging up my walls as quickly as possible, I rush to the front window, only to see Hideo and Lachy walking towards my cabin like best freaking friends, chatting animatedly to each other and laughing.

Somewhat stunned, I hover uncertainly, unsure of what to do. Before I can make up my mind, a quiet knock sounds at the front door. I freeze and hold my breath, half of me hoping that they’ll go away, the other half... well, the other half is a bit confused, to be honest. The knock sounds again, and then Hideo’s smooth tones murmur indistinctly, “... Still asleep?... Wake her...?”

Lachy’s deeper bass rumbles back, “Just leave it on the counter quietly, then lock up behind us…”

My hungover, sleep-addled brain takes too long to process what little I hear of the conversation, and by the time I realize their intentions, it’s too late to move. The front door creaks open softly, and two pairs of stunned eyes, one amber and one chocolate, meet mine in total surprise. All three of us stop dead, Lachy and Hideo side by side in my doorway, and me, still wrapped in a towel, which I’m rapidly coming to realize is far too short for polite company.

Hoooooooly hell… holy hell holy hell holy hell.

No one takes a breath for what feels like an eternity, then Lachy jerks his eyes up to stare at an indistinct point on the ceiling, and Hideo much more slowly drops his eyes to the floor, trailing down my scantily clad body on the way. I gape like a fish, unable to form a complete thought. Lachy saves me, clearing his throat uncomfortably before shaking his head slightly and dropping his eyes to meet mine. He locks his gaze firmly on my face, opens his mouth to speak, pauses, then tries again.

“Uhh, Suge, Lord. I’m sorry. We thought you’d still be asleep, and we noticed as we were leaving that you didn’t have anything for… umm… breakfast, so we... ah… Jesus.” He huffs out a breath, clearly having reached the limits of his explanation. And while I appreciate his noticeable efforts to keep his eyes on mine, the intensity of his gaze, which is rapidly growing more heated, is making me squirm.

Hideo picks his eyes off the floor and lets them slowly travel the same path back up that they took to go down. I shiver under his careful perusal, completely blindsided by the fact that he is doing nothing to hide his appreciation for what he’s seeing. Deo has never, and I meannever, looked at me like that before, and I have no idea why he is doing it now. For gods’ sakes, we had once gone undercover in a strip club, and I’d had to wear a crazy, revealing nurse’s outfit, and even then, he didn’t look at me the way he is in this moment. He says nothing, just meets my eyes, and holds me there. Lachy clears his throat again and nudges Deo, frowning slightly at him and jerking his head towards me.

“Oh! Right. Sorry, Reed. Kailani. Kai. Sorry for… this… We didn’t think... Your lights were still off so we assumed…”

“So you guys just camein?” I finally squeak. “I... I mean I literally just got out of theshower! Who does that? If you guys had been two minutes earlier I’d have been naked for gods’ sakes!”

It’s like the air has been completely sucked out of the room. Deo’s and Lachy’s eyes widen in unison, and the temperature feels like it ratchets up 100 degrees.

Jesus, Kai! Abort, abort!!! Stop mentioning being naked! And showering! And... Why do I smell chocolate?

“Why do I smell chocolate?” I echo my thought, derailed from my panic by the wafting scent of warm pastry.

Lachy smiles and holds up a large, white, paper bag that has gone unnoticed ‘til now.

“Pain au chocolat, from La Petite Fleur…”

“OOooooo!” I breathe out happily, taking a step forward before remembering that I’m next to naked. Still… chocolate... I take another step towards him.

Hideo lifts a drink carrier, catching my attention. “Mochas, from Necessary Luxury…”

“Mocha!” I chirp happily, reaching out my other hand towards him. Lachy growls slightly under his breath and nudges Deo aside.

“Go get dressed, Cher. We’ll take care of this.” He gestures vaguely towards the kitchen, and, realizing I’m still mostly naked, and completely out of my element, I flee to my bedroom.

What is happening?I think frantically. Why are they here? They never come here! Are they staying? Why are they staying? What should I wear?

I fling my closet open, picking up and discarding clothes at a frantic pace. Black jeans? Black shirt? Black jeans? Black...shit. Maybe I need to take Gemms up on her offer to go shopping. I grimace, looking over my options, then take a deep breath and frown slightly. This ismy vacation. My rare and hard-earned vacation, and I’m not going to spend it getting dressed up and fancy in my... black jeans. Jesus. Okay, but still. I walk to my small dresser and grab out a pair of super-soft, black leggings and a matching tank top. I hover, unsure, over my favorite sweatshirt, then decidefuck it. They’ve seen my secret shame; how much worse can it get?Grabbing it, I pull the wooly warmth over my head. Fluffy and white, the oversized top hangs almost to my knees and has a hood with bear ears on it. The cuffs are worn through at the thumb area, so my thumbs stick out two little holes while the rest of my fingers emerge through the normal area. After wrangling my crazy hair into two long braids, I pull on my fuzzy, knee-high Harry Potter socks. They have an anime version of Hermione saying “It’s Levi-O-sa” and are thick, like slippers. Refusing to look in the mirror, I walk out to see what the hell is going on.

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