Page 89 of Gates of Tartarus

All of a sudden, I realize how relaxed I am and jerk upright suddenly, trying to gather my senses to build my walls.

Jonah catches my attention from the kitchen. “Don’t worry about it,” he says casually. “I’ve been working for the past month on shielding my emotions. Been spending a few hours a day learning how to mask them.”

I stare at him, caught completely off guard. “What?” I exclaim. “Is that even a thing? I’ve neverheardof someone being able to do that!”

Jonah glances over at Hideo briefly before looking back at me. “Sure,” he answers slowly. “It’s a thing. It takes a lot of practice, and a lot of meditation, but I think I have it down. I wouldn’t have risked it coming here if I didn’t. I’m not very strong, and I definitely couldn’t withstand any sort of effort on your part if you were actively trying to figure out what I was feeling, but then again, I wouldn’t want to. I can mask just enough that my emotions shouldn’t intrude on you if your shields are weak, or down completely for some reason.” He delivers the news with a happy, totally unconcerned smile, like he hasn’t just completely blown my mind.

Reaching out carefully, I run my senses over Jonah’s emotional field. He shivers lightly, as though he can feel me searching. “Well hello,” he says jokingly. “You can do thatallday.”

It’s like looking through an opaque window. I can sense his emotions, but they’re hidden behind a thin screen. The onlyclearfeeling coming from him is a sense of focused determination. The shielding is an obvious struggle for him.

“Why... I don’t understand. How…?” I stutter, unable to form a complete thought, and reach out again, only to meet that same opaque window of feeling.

Jonah, completely unconcerned with my ineloquence, replies, voice slightly muffled as he starts searching the cupboards for plates. Normally I’d recoil at such uninvited familiarity, but I can’t move beyond the blankness of his emotional field. “Well, it was hard. For sure. I did a lot of research, and read a lot of books about controlling your emotions. About mindfulness, and meditation, and oddly, poker, because they discuss how to school your face and how not to show tells. And then I practiced. A lot. Maybe four hours a day at first, but I’m down now to an hour of yoga and an hour of meditation and I think I’ve got it. I definitely can’t maintain it too long. Like all day would be a real effort. But I think I’ve got a few good hours of focus. So I’m safe for a bit to be around you.”

“But why? Why would you go through that effort? I can tell how difficult it is for you. And, not to be rude, but why are you here?”

He walks over to Lachy and me, before crouching in front of me. Meeting my eyes seriously, he says confidently and without hesitation, “I started searching for a solution the first day we met. The day we met, Kailani. I went home, and I called my Ananaksaq. I told her that I’d met a brilliant star of a soul and I needed to learn how to quiet myself to be around her. She told me that even the wolf and the eagle must learn to hunt silently, to be a part of the woods surrounding them rather than creatures raging through, disrupting the forest. So I’m learning to be the Ch’aak, to barely disturb the air around me as I move through it.”

He smiles softly. “I’m interested in you, and want to spend as much time with you as possible, but I could tell how much effort that would take on your part. I guess I figured the first step would be taking some of that responsibility off you, so maybe you could let down your guard a little around me, and maybe I could convince you to give me a chance.” Reaching forward, he takes my hand, moving slowly to give me a chance to avoid the action. Little does he know I’m too stunned to do anything but sit, frozen, as he continues talking.

“I think you’re amazing, Kailani. And I’d be happy to be considered a real friend of yours. Not just a work friend. But like Lachlainn. Or Tanaka. Happier still if you’d let me take you out some time on a proper date. I can tell how important friendships are to you, so I figured we’d start there. But I want to be clear with you from the start – I think you’re stunning. And smart. And funny, irreverent, strong, goofy, loyal, and tough. And I want to be a part of that, part of the fabric of what creates you. As to why I’m here…” his sweet smile changes to an impish grin. “I figured you might be a bit hungover from last night? And pizza is kind of a cure-all food, right?” By this point I’m blushing furiously.I've never had a guy just come up and declare himself so openly, with no embarrassment or hesitation, not like this, with other people around. He stands and starts walking back to the kitchen, calling cryptically over his shoulder, “Plus, I’m not the type of guy to sit on the sidelines when there are players on the field.”

Lachy’s emotions flare with that declaration, and, gently nudging me, he says quietly under his breath, “Do you mind shielding for a few, Kai?” With no further explanation he lumbers off the couch and joins Jonah in the kitchen, looking at him with an oddly rueful glance, and shakes his head before holding out his hand.

“Jonah.” Lachy says J’s name like they’ve spoken before, as though they know each other.

Jonah smiles back and says, “Lachlainn. Nice to meet you. Like, in person.Officially.”

My brows shoot up in surprise, and Jonah shrugs. “I texted him a few times after the whole ‘Kai crashed her motorcycle’ thing to check in on you.”

Lachy rolls his eyes exaggeratedly, which makes me grin. “Afewtimes? We have a regular chat going, if you count my one-word answers to his page-long texts a ‘chat’.” Still, there’s the rumble of a smile in his voice, though Jonah looks mock-affronted.

“Hey, my man! We talk! I’m cracking the Lachy nut! Yesterday you responded in a full sentence.”

Lachy winces. “Please don’t say ‘cracking the Lachy nut’ again. It sounds…”

Jonah grins at me, and I’m caught between smiling back and gaping like a fish. But if I’m caught off guard, Deo is a statue of astonishment.

He’s still standing by the slightly open door, as if waiting for Jonah to leave. He looks to me for guidance on what to do, but I’m still processing Jonah’s appearance, the pizza, the odd throuple discussion, and Jonah’s open interest. My brain isfull. Hideo frowns slightly, then turns his attention to the kitchen.

“Shotridge,” he says tightly, “in the future, if you’re interested in coming to Kailani’s home, I think a call in advance wouldn’t go amiss.”

Jonah meets his eyes with an edge of challenge, something I haven’t seen often from the good-natured man. Hideo straightens up, eyes narrowing, as Jonah holds his gaze without speaking.

Clearing my throat awkwardly, I mumble, “I do appreciate the pizza, Jonah. And it’s fine that you’re here now. But in general, I really value my privacy and do appreciate a heads up…”

Jonah nods at me, looking slightly abashed. “Noted. I’m sorry, Kailani. I thought maybe a surprise, and that if Lachlainn and Hideo were already here... but of course. I’ll call ahead next time.”

“Howdidyou know we were here?” Hideo grumbles.

“Smith and Donovan decided to stay in a B&B on Vashon, rather than catch the ferry home and then back again, so they’re just hanging out, planning our meeting for tomorrow. I’m pretty sure they thought they’d be able to convince you to meet up today, but, ah, they couldn’t get on the property.” Lachy smirks at Hideo, who returns his look, leaving me confused. Jonah continues, “I figured if they stayed on the island, so did Tanaka, but there’s no way you’d make him stay at a hotel, knowing you two. So I thought he’d be here. And if you’re here, Lachlainn’s probably around too. Especially if Tanaka is.” Jonah grins, a sort of glee bubbling to the surface behind his protective window. “But I also saw how you reacted to Smith and Donovan being at your place last night, so I knew they wouldn’t be here. They’re on their own. So… educated guess on pizza for four.”

“How didyouget on the property if Smith and Walker couldn’t?” I ask, and he shrugs adorably, pushing his hair back out of his face where it’s fallen in a curtain.

“Just drove your car up to the gate, yeah? And it opened.”

“Ofcourseit opened,” Lachy mumbles. “It’sherhome.”

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