Page 165 of The BoneKeeper's Daughter

Nothing other than the fervent promise of a debt repaid, and the empty brown eyes of my only friend in this camp.

TERRIBLE CHOICES

WREN

“Iwant you to know how sorry I am to force this choice upon you, Wren. And how, I hope in my deepest heart, that the gift I am trying to give you to thank you for your kindness towards me works in the way I desperately want it to.”

The room is blurry around me, and my head is pounding a strange, syncopated rhythm, vision pulsing in and out with my heartbeat.

“Oh, Wren.” His voice is so sad, so apologetic as he approaches me and sits down on his heels in front of me. “I didn’t think you’d inhalethatdeeply. Here, have some water.”

He holds up a cup to my mouth; despite my better judgment, I drink, the cool, crisp taste still a marvel to me, even after all this time. It helps a little, and I’m finally able to focus on his face.

“Teo?” The aching betrayal is clear in my tone, and he sighs in response, then wipes a warm cloth over my face before retreating to the far corner of the room. My body is still numb, but I can move my head and neck, and turn to take in my surroundings. I’m at one point of a very strange triangle, the other two being made up of a small table with a tiny vial on it, and Teo, sitting on a thick mat on the floor. Nothing about any of this makes sense. “What…what is happening?”

He tilts his head, considering what he’s going to say, then sighs. “I’ve rehearsed this a hundred times, but now that we’re in the moment, nothing seems like enough. If you’ll just listen, give me a chance to explain…” He waits for permission, but I’m too confused to respond. “Ah. Well. I…I amtired.” And I can see the truth of his words on his face. There are bruises beneath his eyes, deep lines carved between his brows. “I’ve been tired forever, because of a promise I made to not give up, to find a solution. Then, for a heartbeat, suddenly there you were, like an answered prayer before me and Ellie, and…Wren. I –” He stands and starts pacing, before coming to sink in front of me again, taking my hands in his, staring down at our fingers. “To be given a chance, and then have her taken…it is beyond all bearing.”

I don’t know what to say, just sit, staring at him blankly, my head feeling like it’s encased in sand and stone. I’m not bound in any way, but my body is leaden, even small movements feeling impossibly difficult.

“I don’t expect you to forgive me, not exactly. But maybe at the end of this…”

“What have you done to me?” Fear coats my tongue, thick and bitter. “I thought..I thought we were friends…” The words are childlike, plaintive, and I feel desperately stupid for saying them, but it’s true.I thought we were friends.

“We were. We were when I was still here.” Shivers of ice dance down my spine. Meeting my eyes, he takes a deep breath, before continuing, tone strangely formal now, a strange look on his face. “Before we go on, Keeper, I need to tell you something. Ineedyou to understand. I have not felt at home in this body since Ellie died. I felt my soul detach when she passed, and it has been untethered but trapped since that point. I am letting you know because…it is a house for me, but not a home. Do you hear what I’m saying? I hold no attachment to this…casing…for my soul. Perhaps — perhaps another would.And I would have no objection.” He puts strange emphasis on the words. “Because I do not feel as though it is mine, anyway.”

“You’re scaring me, Teo.”

He sighs. “And more before we’re done. But at least I know you’relistening. And I hope you remember when the time comes.” Rocking back on his heels, he looks back at our hands, face softening in a memory. “Do you know Kylabet and I have been friends since we were children?” His voice is studiously casual, an abrupt change from moments before; we could be discussing the weather. “She’s a deep well, BoneKeeper. An unexpectedly deep well. And she knows many,manythings. When she was little, and I think even now, though we’ve grown apart in some ways, she would sit at her oldest grandmother’s knee and would listen to stories that can’t be written down.” His eyes dart my way, their intent gaze belying his careless tone. “What a curious thing, to live in a world where even whispered stories are sometimes enough to send you to the gallows. There was some small room for mistakes as children; that space does not exist for adults. So it has been years since I’ve heard any of the tales she used to tell me.”

This is too much, too quickly; I’m trying desperately to follow the stone skipping across the water.

“You should ask her, though. Sometime when even butterflies aren’t near enough to have the question drift to their wings.Nowhereinside the Crimson City.” A rush of air escapes his lungs in a tight exhalation before he forces his breathing back to normal. “Leave, if you can, before you reach its walls, Wren.” His fingers tighten around mine, spasming. “But not before you speak to Kylabet. She is…she is a safe friend. One that is hard to make, but also hard to lose.”

A distant clanging startles him to his feet, and he silently glides to the tent door before turning back to me, full lips pressed into a thin line. “We’re running out of time.” Teo is suddenly short, almost brusque. “How many souls can fit into a single bone, Keeper?” He asks as though he already knows the answer.

“Just one, Teo.” My heart is skipping beats, shuddering in my chest, and I’m filled with a wild sort of terror I don’t understand.

“Are you certain?”

“As much as I can be.”

“Keeper—” He is back before me, kneeling, and pulls the piece of Ellie’s bone from the pouch around his neck. Even as close as he is, though, I can barely hear what he says next. “My soul isn’t whole. It isa fragment. Just a piece, and Ellie is the other half of it. She is in a half-life, as am I. You — you could put us together. If it only fits one soul, that’s fine. We’re one soul split.”

“It doesn’t work the way you think, Teo.” Suddenly I understand, and feel such suffocating pity for him that it leaves no room for anger. “I don’t know how to say it. There is room enough for the soul that belongs to the bones. No more.”

“Do you not think Ellie will make room for me?” He smiles gently, almost amused by my answer, looking down at the bone in his hand, thumb stroking it lovingly.

“I…I am sure she would…” I reply haltingly. “But…Teo. It…to put a soul into bone that isn’t its own—” I bite my tongue, the pain sharpening my muddied head.Careful, Wren. Careful!I caution to myself. To tell him would be to confirm all the fears they’ve whispered about our people, about me, about BoneKeepers and SoulBinders, revealing secrets that are not mine alone, but those of my people as well. To tell him would be a death sentence.

“What happens, Wren?” His voice is low, hesitant. “You know. I can see you know. What happens?”

I’m scared for him, for what he’s considering. For what he thinks will happen, because he does not know the whole of the story. Biting my lip hard to force back tears, I shake my head, voice thick with sadness. “They — it’s called Exile, where I am from. And it is sentencing a soul to unceasing, never-ending pain. Not like you could ever imagine, Teo. Agony, and it echoes through all time. It doesn’t fade, doesn’t ebb or flow. It simply is. To bind a soul to bone that isn’t its own — it is unrelenting torture. And I won’t do it. Especially not to you. You understand? Or to Ellie. Who knows how it would affect her?” Reaching out my hands as much as I can, I place them on top of Teo’s in as much sympathy as I’m able to give. “I can’t do that. I’m sorry, Teo. But I can’t. Isn’t it enough that you have her here?”

He stares down at our fingers and at her bone, and, after a long pause, shakes his head. “It will never be enough, Wren. Her words through your mouth are cold comfort. I’m grateful to you — of course I’m grateful to you, could never repay you for saving her until I couldjoin her. But…” Swallowing hard, he rubs a hand across his eyes. “I thought maybe, if you guided my soul to hers, that she would anchor me in her bone, help keep me there with her. And we would have some peace together. Which is a gift most people never feel.” His lips quirk into a sad, almost smile. “She’ll make room for me, Keeper. And maybe it will be different for us because she will welcome me, her bone will welcome me.”

“Teo. You can’t…I can’ttakeyour soul from you to place in bone. And I can’t condemn you to Exile. You can’t ask that of me.”

“You are leaving tomorrow, Wren.” It is a statement of fact, not a question. Pins and needles running like tongues of fire along my waking skin; he narrows his eyes thoughtfully watching the way my body jerks as the numbness fades, and exhales deeply. “I won’t have another chance. I don’t want tobehere anymore, Binder!” Frustration, but also pleading, is thick in his throat. “I haven’twantedto be here since Ellie left. I carry her, but what good does it do either of us? I can’t hear her, she can’t speak to me…it does nothing.Nothing.Just leaves us on two sides of the door with no way to open it between us.” Surging to his feet in sudden motion, he turns his back on me and walks to the mat on the floor across the room. My eyes follow him helplessly.

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