Page 66 of The Women at Ocean's End

‘You know, my getting this job, well, it means you’re out of the cottage and that last night it was awkward… I really don’t mind you staying on until you’re sorted with something else, yeah?’

‘I’m already sorted, thanks,’ she said. She didn’t owe him any explanations.

‘So you’re moving over to the mainland to take up the admin post?’

‘Probably, yeah, in a few weeks.’ She filled the kettle, flicked the switch; it was automatic: in spite of the emptiness, the place still felt like hers.

‘And you’ve got a place there?’ He obviously knew how hard it was to find somewhere to live in Ballycove in high season.

‘I will have, when the time comes.’ She looked at him. Was he actually concerned on some level that she had something sorted and she wasn’t going to be living in a doorway somewhere? ‘There’s a flat coming free above the bakery, apparently. It’s let out to tourists at the moment, but the old guy I spoke to said I could have it, starting the week before I’m due to move across.’

‘But that’s in a month, surely…’

‘You don’t have to worry. This cottage, as much and all as I loved it, it’s yours now. I’ve got somewhere else to stay,’ she said and she dropped instant coffee into two mugs and set about stirring in boiling water with a concentration that didn’t brook any more questions.

She went through the various things he needed to know about the cottage. The hot water system was still a bit of a mystery to her, even after a year here, but she did her best.

‘So, if there’s nothing else you need, I’ll be getting back,’ she said, leaving him to drag in his belongings from the doorstep.‘Generally, I start on my rounds at six in the morning, if that suits? Better to do as much as you can in summer, because winter days are so short, well, it’s making hay while the sun shines.’ She turned to let herself out the door.

‘Ros?’ he called after her as she made her way down the path.

‘Yep?’ she said, half turning. She was itching to get back to Ocean’s End to check in on Constance.

‘You wouldn’t fancy going to the pub later, just for a pint you know, to…’ He broke off, perhaps realising that the last thing she wanted to do was celebrate his arrival on the island.

‘Ah, sorry, no, I can’t tonight, I have plans, so… sorry,’ she said and she felt a tiny sliver of guilt shave across her because she remembered her own first week here when the students had returned to the city and Max Toolis had left her to stay in the cottage alone. Even for Ros, who considered herself an independent sort, it had been a bit daunting to have only the sound of the wind in the chimney for company.

‘Of course, sure, no problem,’ he said, bending to pick up his bags.

‘Maybe later in the week, lunch? In the hotel? My treat to welcome you to the island?’ she said.

‘Okay,’ he said and he turned back into the cottage, allowing the door to bang closed behind him. Ros found herself instantly regretting the invitation when she saw his reaction. Under the clear blue skies of the summer’s day, she knew that the loss of the job she had loved and the cottage she had adored was hardly the end of the world, not when she thought of Constance that morning. She seemed to have aged overnight and she was so weak, hardly able to sip the tea that Ros had held to her lips.

She would have to let go of this simmering resentment towards Shane; after all, she knew, he had not set out to upset her lovely life, and if it hadn’t been Shane who had come alongand taken the post, there was no guarantee it would have been offered to her anyway.

Ros’s step was heavy as she approached Ocean’s End. She couldn’t shake the feeling that soon everything would change again, she could feel it in her bones; Constance was slipping away from them far more quickly than any of them expected.

When she walked into the house, Heather was sitting at the table, poring over old diaries that belonged to Maggie Macken. Her eyes looked as tired as Ros felt, she too had hardly slept all night worrying about Constance.

‘Any change?’

‘No, she’s been sleeping most of the afternoon.’

‘Can I check on her?’ Ros didn’t want to disturb Constance, but still, she wanted to see her, to make sure she was okay.

‘I’m not in charge, Ros,’ Heather smiled at her, ‘but I will make us both some coffee, if you fancy it?’

‘I’d love some.’ Actually, she’d take anything that would put a bit of life into her at this stage. With that, her phone pinged. Mai Boland. She showed the text to Heather.

‘Ring her, you have to ring her. If they’ve got the funding, it’s going to really give Constance a great boost,’ Heather said and Ros wondered if she wasn’t more excited about the prospect of it than Ros was. It was a funny state of affairs, when this impending sense of loss managed to steal from you any joy for yourself but still allowed you to be happy for the people you cared about; she knew she’d have felt exactly the same for Heather.

‘I’ve just got the word in,’ Mai trilled with excitement on the other end of the line. ‘We have funding for five years. Congratulations, you’re officially going to be the Pin Hill Island Goat herder!’

‘That’s great news,’ Ros managed, but she knew her voice was lifeless. Still, she managed to carry on a conversation andpromised she’d call into the development company in the next day or two to get the ball rolling.

‘“I”s to be dotted and “T”s to be crossed,’ Mai said and it was obvious she was really excited about the whole project. ‘It’ll be so good for the island, everyone will be really pleased.’

‘That’s good news,’ Ros managed.

---