Page 68 of The Women at Ocean's End

She woke early, still with that warm feeling that they were all very close by and waiting just beyond the doorway to take her on a new adventure.

But she had things to do, to make sure that all would be well when she drifted away from Ocean’s End.

At four o’clock, Ros finally arrived back at the house with the man she called Surfer Dude. Constance had not known what to expect, but probably she had not expected a forty-year-old in a shirt that belonged in a bad 1970s detective show. The man wearing it was called Jake and Constance thought he could havebeen Tom Selleck’s brother. Constance always had a soft spot forMagnum P.I.– perhaps it was the moustache?

‘Thank you for coming, I’m sorry about…’ She wasn’t sure which she hated more, the fact that she had to meet this stranger here, in her bed, or that she sounded so weak. It was as if, somehow, her vitality had deserted her overnight leaving her with barely enough energy to be little more than a spectator on what remained of her life.

‘No problem, what is it I can do for you?’ Jake smiled, taking the seat that Heather had left only moments before he arrived.

‘I want to make my will and they said you were… you see, I’ve never had a solicitor. There’s never been one here on the island and I rarely leave, so…’ She needed to breathe, it was a struggle now, almost a confirmation if one was needed that time was running out.

‘I’m not sure that I’m…’ He looked at her and maybe she knew what he was thinking.

‘I’m compos mentis, if that’s what you’re wondering about, ask either of…’ She sighed wearily, because that was no good. ‘The district nurse, she’ll tell you, she’s taken bloods, I know exactly what I’m doing and I want to set things straight, before I… well, I should have done it years ago, probably.’ She smiled sadly now. Of course, years ago, there was no-one to leave this house to.

‘Okay, well, we can set something out, I have…’ Jake pulled out his phone, ‘something here, but I…’ He looked around the room.

‘It won’t take long, I promise…’ A tear rolled down her cheek. Pathetic, perhaps, but she watched as his expression changed. He would help her, she knew it then.

‘Okay,’ he said, reaching into his bag and pulling out a pad and pen. Soon, she was telling him exactly what she wanted. There wasn’t much, not when you really thought about it. Ocean’s End, the little cottage, her mother’s papers and books and, of course, her desire to be buried in the plot next to Dotty. They belongedtogether; perhaps even Dotty had seen that at the end. ‘That’s all fine, sure there’s nothing else?’ he asked when they’d finished.

‘Not a thing.’ And she sighed with a deep relief, as if she’d just folded away half her troubles and there was satisfaction in knowing that the creases would ease out after she was gone.

‘I’ll need to get it witnessed but it’ll have to be by people outside of the beneficiaries.’

‘Of course. We can ask Avril to call up before she finishes her rounds and Finbar is coming across in a little while to help Ros move some of the old barrels under the downpipes on the cottage.’

Constance smiled. There was something pleasing about knowing that when she was long gone, the rain would continue to fall and Ros would then use it to water the garden in the height of summer. Everything would go on, just as it was always meant to, trees would bear fruit and maybe, at some point, the old vine in the glass house would be revived.

Avril and Finbar arrived together and both were happy to oblige and witness her will, although Constance caught the look that passed between Jake and Avril. But any questions about her ability to make a decision were put to the side when Finbar opened up the topic of the forthcoming local elections. Constance always enjoyed their little sparring discussions about how the Green Party candidate seemed to completely forget about the fact that protecting the ocean was as important as planting trees or saving energy. Her knowledge of local politics was enough to push any question of her mental capacity to make her will to the side.

‘Well, it seems to me that everything here is in order,’ Jake said. ‘I’ll be off, so.’ He gathered up his phone and the various pieces of paper that they had put together.

‘Do you need a lift?’ Finbar asked Jake, perhaps realising that it was getting late and maybe it was time to let Constance rest after the day.

By the time it was done, Constance was exhausted. Once Heather settled her back down on her pillows, she felt as if she could just disintegrate into the sheets. Her bones felt light as dust, her skin soft as if it was as flimsy as tissue paper. The pains and aches of the last few years that she had grown so used to were noticeable only by their absence.

She slept for hours, although it felt like five minutes, and once more, her mother came and this time she sat beside her bed, taking her hand and rubbing her fingers gently, warming her right to the very core of her.You know, there is one more thing that you must do before you can rest, she said and Constance’s eyes shot open. She felt an extraordinary vigour steeling within her for what she always knew she would have to do one day. It seemed she couldn’t leave Ocean’s End just yet.

45

Nine Months Ago

Dotty

It came as a surprise to Dotty, but she realised on their second meeting that she actually liked Chipo. The counsellor she’d been assigned (thanks to the platinum level of cover on the health policy Heather had paid into for her for years) was originally from Zimbabwe. She spoke with an accent that strangely reminded Dotty of the west of Ireland, even though she knew it was nothing like.

‘So, how did we manage this week?’ Chipo raised her eyes from the plant she was watering. There was no fooling Chipo, she’d been through addiction herself, she’d lost a child, lost a husband and had to pick her life up off the floor to take care of four more kids and a mother she’d brought to London from Harare.

‘Don’t look at me like that,’ Dotty snapped at her. Old habits died hard and Dotty had lost the habit of chit-chat, thanks to having cut herself off from everyone who would want to listen to her.

‘Have you been to your meeting?’

‘Yes, I have. Actually, I went to four different meetings this week,’ Dotty said a little proudly, and maybe a little surprised with herself, because at the start of all this she’d never have imagined attending AA.

‘Good, that’s good. The meetings are always going to be important to you, Dot.’ She didn’t say any more, but Dotty knew Chipo still attended regular meetings too. Everyone did, as far as Dotty could see. ‘And so now you’re almost…’

‘One hundred and ninety-two days sober.’ Yes, she was counting, but only because it gave her something to do.

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