Page 11 of Flying

Lily asked Carmine Salvatore for another cut of beef and another walk through the Beef Wellington recipe. When he offered a simpler dish to start, she cried because this is Grant’s favorite and she just had to make this tonight. We walked back together and she broke down about the amount of time Grant was gone, how lonely and useless she felt, and how she had no idea who she was or how she ended up here.

I told her to tell me when she finally mastered the dish and pumped her up. She came by the bar that weekend, so proud she could burst. Then did: into full on tears, because, despite how hard it was for her he barely said thank you. Grant chastised her, calling her spoiled and bad with money. He suggested her being home all day was due to her lack of intelligence and drive, ignoring completely her acceptance to more schools than him. Better ones too. No, Grantknocked Lily down for doing exactly what he and their moms told her to do.

Looking back, that dinner was the kindling. Lily was trapped by other people's expectations, and Grant’s mask of being a good guy was falling rapidly. She was willing to do anything to make things feel okay again, while we were too naive to help her. I was so mad I didn’t call him out for his drunk confession about still being in love with Landan before the wedding.

Lookingacross the table,Lily tilts her head and quirks an eyebrow. “Hello? River? Are you still here?”

I shake my head again, causing a few strands to flutter across my brow. A stammer erupts, “Uh? Yeah. Hi. Sorry. Hi. I am exhausted.” Picking back up where I had been trying to make her laugh, I continue, “I had the worst training session last night. Had to keep doing stair sprints.” I feel her smack my arm lightly, and my bicep subconsciously flexes.

Flexing purposefully now, teasing, “Give me your best shot then, little flower.” The old nickname slips out without thinking. Of course, I’d forgotten one important thing, Lily doesn’t channel her rage into fires anymore. No, Lily—“Ouch!”—I wince, remembering, is into boxing. “That’s gonna bruise. You win, you win, okay? I’m a jerk.” I raise my hands in surrender.

With that, Lily’s screen lights up and she swipes the screen, then she snorts and turns it to me to see.

Stef:

Is it true?

[Carlton Banks, Fresh Prince of Bel Air, played by Alphonso Ribero, dancing gif]

[Titanic, Old Woman, “It’s Been 84 Years” gif]

Get your ass here now, Long!!!!! It’s my birthday and we’re going to have a spa day.

Gazing my way, Lily flashes a bright smile and puppy dog eyes.Her full bottom lip protrudes just a little bit more than the top lip as she silently begs. I find myself thinking about what it would be like to press against that pout, catch it with my teeth, holding her thick long hair as I deepen the kiss.Shit.

“I’m your personal body guard this weekend, let’s get a move on,” I say before leading us out the door.

ten

Lily

I can only imagine how Belinda is reacting to the many sightings of me as I walk back across town towards Stef’s house. Only a few more hours before I return to my life. I’ll head to Manhattan to interview for a position with a streaming home-fitness group. They’ve been trying to get me to come in for a while, and I’ve delayed it because I can’t imagine myself there. The hustle of New York is aggressive on its own. Coupled with the idea of working for someone else, it just doesn’t feel right. Except, I can’t turn down a meeting. Every networking opportunity counts for a step towards the next level of growth.I just have to survive one more day in New Jersey,I try to repeat to myself.

The bungalow Stef and Lee rent is storybook-esque. It’s a coastal blue vinyl sided home with bright white shutters capped by matching flower boxes. Each box is bursting with late summer and early fall colors with tiny orange marigolds, lavender, and black eyed Susans. There is a big birthday sign on the front door in pinks and teals, clearly drawn by Lee and his students. Given the way middle school girls love the idea of love, I’m sure his students were eager to help. I wonder if they know? Marriage was so exciting then when it was just a prom you were guaranteed to be the queen of.

Before I can finish knocking, the door flies away from my dropping hand and I barely miss punching the birthday girl. She doesn’tcare, preferring to pull me into a hug so forceful we stumble backwards into the house. River coughs to cover a laugh behind me, while Lee catches her from behind. Stabilized, Stef squeals and scoops me into a hug that knocks the air out of my lungs. Shrieking into my ear, “I cannot believe you are here. In. New. Jersey!”

“Babe. Can you at least try to survive until the party? Maybe even another thirty years after?” Lee teases before moving her aside with a quick kiss to her temple. This quick gesture is a blip but it sticks with me—the sweet kiss and teasing glances. After he greets River and me, I’m stuck thinking about how this kind of special connection is impossible if I stay constantly on the go. Maybe it’s time to reevaluate how I feel about building futures and having roots.

Stef and Lee met junior year of college in class. They were paired up to observe different classrooms around the state and present together. They went to underfunded public schools and elite private schools across urban, suburban, and rural settings. Evaluating the strengths and inequalities together, they found a balance of their own viewpoints. Her sunny energy and his critical nature made them perfect sparring partners. They got an A+ and were clearly not done with one another. When they ended up celebrating together, a few drinks led to a few kisses. From that day forward, they were inseparable even when disagreeing.

We’ve been sitting around their living room chatting for a few minutes when Stef excuses herself for a moment. Thinking out loud I mumble to myself, “How has it taken so many years?” River elbows me to hush and I give him a side eye. Hoping he can read my mindwhat? Lee knows how long they’ve been together.

When Stef walks back in, she asks me simply “Manicures?”

“And cupcakes? In Princeton? Keep me off this new Springer texting?” I hope I’m conveying a mix of laughter at the ridiculousness of this place and my desperate desire to be out of the public eye, politely.

“Definitely cupcakes. Itismy birthday weekend, afterall,” Stef agrees.

My smile hasn’t been this big in so long, it hurts my face.

Slidingonto the Jeep’s worn fabric seats, and I feel light enough to float away. My muscles have relaxed, and my heart feels warm and swollen. Being with Stef, or Nessa or Delia, is like walking onto the beach and breathing in the fresh air. It’s peaceful and grounding. It feels like the most authentic way life can be.

Plugging in the address to the GPS, I move us towards the high-end salon out of town and ease up even further. There’s nothing to be nervous about when it’s just us, it’s normal.

Stef is talking about the coming school year with something fierce and lovely that I can’t help but find myself completely wrapped up in.

“I’ve been working on how the Peacocks are handling special education for the lower grades. Every. Single. Child. Who comes into my school is going to be given tools to succeed instead of pushed until they break. Did I tell you about the AAC device I got a grant for?”

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