Page 63 of Flying

Stepping away, Delia backs up and Susan begins her usual inspection of Stef from the head to toe. She fixes invisible issues with her hair, her dress placement, and then looks at her from bottom to top once more.

“You’ll be wearing a proper heel when we are ready for guests, correct?” Swallowing any irritation that may be there, she simply nods in agreement and moves on.

“Nessa,” Susan snaps, “I agree with Stef, do not stress those centerpieces. Move the extras over to the gift table. That way if people are cheap, we can hide it with ample florals.” She then turns on her heel and walks across to Coffee Crumbs where she meets the other ladies from her church for coffees and gossip until the party is set to begin.

Every important familyin Peacock Springs is out in full force when the party begins. The bars are tended by The Featherweights staff, food from a variety of places including the suckling pig. Prudence is running a DJ booth, full of girl power pop music that has our group enjoying ourselves thoroughly between snacks and games. It’s almost time for presents when it dawns on me, this is a very formal event. Pulling Nessa aside I whisper my anxiety about my gift.

“Ness, did you watchHow I Met Your Mother?”

“Do you meanHow I Met Your Fatherwith Hillary Duff? Because Oh my god, I love her. I think I sort of look like her, right? If I cut my hair, but I’d never…”

I have to cut this off. “No, Ness, Mother. With the dad fromFull Housenarrating even though he’s played by someone else. The one that would never ever get made now because like every sentence out of Neil Patrick Harris’s mouth would get the show canceled. Shit. Nevermind.”

I run over to Delia and start the conversation over again, this time getting cut off by her saying, “I love when you have these random thoughts mid-events but today I have to focus on keeping things running because River trusted me with the staff so he can hide out with Mateo doing whatever the guys are all doing.”

“I think it’s batting cages, but Mateo was in a suit so maybe not,” I jump in.

Delia laughs, “Of course he is. Either way, we have to set up the gifts to be opened and I need a hand. Can you get the iPad from Kirk behind the bar so I can keep the list of gifts for Stef to write her thank you notes? Also grab me two trash bags, and ooh! You’re creative, can you make her a paper plate hat with the wrappers and ribbons? I wanted to do a bouquet, but Susan insisted it must be ahat. I’m sorry, I just want to get everyone home on time because it’s a Sunday.”

Why can’t I spit out what I need to say? Does nobody catch my reference? Sometimes, it can be that my brain explains things perfectly. But only to me. Everyone else is staring like I have snakes for hair.

Since I can’t get my words out, I’m off to Kirk and rounding up the requested supplies. I also snag myself a pair of scissors and a roll of scotch tape. I know I was trying to get the girls’ attention for something important, but now that I’m focused on this task, I can’t remember exactly what it was.Whatever, I’ll figure it out later. These new tasks have absorbed my limited remaining focus.Take the pills that River brought you, holding them isn’t the same as taking them, Lily.

We are about done with presents when I shout in a panic “Wait! Stef, don’t open this one!”

That was the issue, I thought this was more of a gag gift situation than the whole town. She’s about to unwrap herself a sex toy, and I really do not need to go from being a fire starter to a sexual deviant in one fell swoop.Of course this is happening just as I decided it would be worth sticking around here.

She holds the gift up by the tiny bit of paper that had already ripped, “This one?” Stef asks while I watch in slow-motion, horrified as the paper unravels and reveals the box. The white package with bright silver letters, the extremely phallic hot pink image clearly in view announcing that it’s a vibrator. I’m dying, and the last thing I need is another town wide scandal.

Bless her, seriously, she can have anything she needs or wants because saving my ass before I can fully panic, Nessa shouts, “That’s from me! You know, sex therapist… marital pleasure, blah blah… you can put me on your longest,” she winks ridiculously at the word longest, “thank you list. Anyone else in the crowd who needs to get in better touch with themselves or their partner's desires can always submit their questions to Flicking the Bean with Rabin, completely anonymously. I see you looking, Mrs. Bell.”

She gives a tip of an invisible cap and then scoops the gift into the pile we’re creating of open items, and elbows me.

“Ouch!” I complain.

She whispers through gritted teeth, “Keep. Your. Shit. Together. Long. Or you will give yourself away.”

The final few presents go by without fanfare, a set of dishes here, a set of towels there. There is everything one will need to start themselves off as a successful adult with a nice home.

Suddenly, a loud bird-born scream, sort of akin to the meow of an angry cat, cuts through the square and everyone freezes. It’s Daisy, one of the two peacocks angrily mewing. Amongst the crowd, the grandmothers of the town, including Ava Maria and Miss Nicole, are cackling like witches. Susan, Anna Lucia, Janet, and the late-middle-aged mom squad look furious with us, and suddenly it’s clear why. It seems Miss Nicole and Prudence fully opened the box from my gift and left it on a table. This caused the bird to think he scored a snack, and he suddenly grabs the vibrator with his beak and runs off.

Daisy approaches noisily, and as the blue, green, and gold whizzes by, I realize that he’s nabbed the rabbit ears of the dual-stimulation toy. I can’t even figure out how, but the toy was activated in the commotion, and it’s wiggling to and fro like any standard insect. Except, instead there is a giant cock waving around below the bird’s neck. On a burst of laughter, Nessa looks at me and I am stunned by the outburst that my filter is just decimated.

“Peacock with an extra cock on the loose! Watch yourselves, ladies,” I say with more earnestness than deserved.

Nessa is in such hysterics that she’s almost fallen off her chair, Delia having caught her by the arm. Stef has her face in her hands. I presume she’s plotting my slow demise.

From across the square we see Seth, Lee, Mateo, and River returning to help load gifts into the cars. Their single lined entrance looks like the start of a music video.

Despite flying less than 2 percent of the time, Daisy uses that moment to take off towards the sky and promptly drops the vibrator directly overhead of the men. We watch as the head of the silicone phallis proceeds to smack Seth directly in the face. Hard. Leaving behind a red mark that may bruise. The guys, as expected, double over in laughter, putting Nessa’s giggle fit to shame.

The sound of River’s laughter is like honey to my ears. It reminds meof Denver, of childhood, and playing pretend in the woods. Joy radiates. He is still someone young and unburdened underneath his bearded face and muscular exterior. River’s hands are on his knees as his laughter increases and he’s fanning himself with his shirt to cool himself down.

We’re all gasping for air, but the more the laughter builds the more frustrated Seth seems to become. The more frustrated Seth looks, the heavier the group laughs. Finally, he picks up the vibrator shutting it off before pocketing it and flipping off the group of men. He gruffly stomps to the gift table where he haphazardly grabs a large armload and heads to the car.

The air becomes intoxicating, adrenaline courses through my veins and there’s no containing the exhilaration. My feet move of their own accord. I’m running towards River before jumping into his arms. Holding on tight, hugging him like a koala to a tree, there’s only our friends right here, right now.

I’m finally able to exist in the moment without the burdens of the past. No concern about how I’m perceived. I’m left with the kind of weightlessness I searched high and low for, and while travelingalmostprovided it, it was never there. It was always here.

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