Page 101 of Children of Blood and Bone

I smile to myself, picturing the glittering lights that escaped Binta’s hand. Not cut short by Father’s blade, but everlasting. A beauty I could witness every day.

If we succeed, Binta’s death will mean something. One way or another, Binta’s light will spread throughout Orïsha. The hole she left in my heart might one day heal.

“Can’t believe it?” Tzain whispers from the doorframe.

“Something like that.” I give him a small smile. “I’m just grateful it’s all over.”

“I heard they’re out of business. Without the coin from the pot, they can’t afford to bribe the stockers for more laborers.”

“Thank the skies.” I think of all the young divîners who perished. Although Zélie helped their spirits pass, their deaths still weigh on myshoulders. “Baako told me he and the other laborers will use the gold to cover more divîners’ debts. If they’re lucky, they’ll be able to save hundreds of people from the stocks.”

Tzain nods, looking at Zélie as she sleeps in the corner of the hut. Freshly bathed, she’s almost hidden against Nailah’s soft fur, recovering after her blinding display with the sunstone. Watching her, I don’t feel the prickle of discomfort that usually surfaces in her presence. When the crew told her that I was the one who ended the fight, she gave me a look that almost resembled a smile.

“Do you think your father knew about this?”

I snap my head up. Tzain averts his gaze and his face hardens.

“I don’t know,” I say quietly. “But if he knew, I’m not sure he would bother to stop it.”

An uncomfortable silence falls between us, stealing our brief moment of relief. Tzain reaches for a roll of bandages, but winces. The pain in his arm must be too great.

“Allow me.” I step forward, avoiding the reddening bandages around his bicep. His only battle wound, sustained because I got in his way.

“Thanks,” Tzain mutters when I hand him the roll. My stomach tightens with the guilt that eats away at my core.

“Don’t thank me. If I’d stayed off that boat, you wouldn’t have this wound at all.”

“I also wouldn’t have Zél.”

He meets my eyes with an expression so kind it catches me off guard. I thought for sure he’d resent me, but if anything, he’s grateful.

“Amari, I’ve been thinking.…” He picks at the roll of bandages, unraveling it only to wrap it up again. “When we pass through Gombe, you should go to the guard post. Tell them you’ve been kidnapped, blame everything on us.”

“Because of what happened on the boat?” I try to keep my tone even,but a slight shrillness breaks in. Where’s this coming from? Just a moment ago he was thanking me for being here.

“No!” Tzain closes the space between us, placing a tentative hand on my shoulder. For someone so large, there’s a surprising tenderness to his touch. “You were amazing. I don’t want to think about what would’ve happened if you weren’t there. But the look on your face afterward… If you stay, I can’t promise you won’t have to kill again.”

I stare at the ground, counting the cracks in the clay. He’s offering me another escape.

He’s trying to keep the blood off my hands.

I think back to that moment on the boat, back when I regretted everything and wished I had never stolen the scroll. This is the out I prayed for. I craved it with all my heart.

It could work.…

Though a flash of shame hits me, I imagine what would happen if I turned myself in. With the right story, enough tears, the perfect lies, I could convince them all. If I showed up disheveled enough, Father might believe I’d been kidnapped by the evil maji. Yet even as I play with the possibility, I already know my response.

“I’m staying.” I swallow the part of me that wants to give in, tucking it deep down inside. “I can do this. I proved that tonight.”

“Just because you can fight doesn’t mean you’re meant to—”

“Tzain, donottell me what I am meant to do!”

His words stab like a needle, locking me back inside the palace walls.

Amari, sit up straight!

Do not eat that.

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