Page 122 of Children of Blood and Bone

I don’t know what shocks me more—the power in my voice or the words themselves.

Afraid.

I am always afraid.

It’s a truth I locked away years ago, a fact I fought hard to overcome. Because when it hits, I’m paralyzed.

I can’t breathe.

I can’t talk.

All at once, I crumple to the ground, clasping my palm over my mouth to stifle the sobs. It doesn’t matter how strong I get, how much power my magic wields. They will always hate me in this world.

I will always be afraid.

“Zélie—”

“No,” I breathe through my sobs. “Stop. You think you know what it’s like, but you don’t. You never will.”

“Then help me.” Inan kneels by my side, careful to keep his distance. “Please. I want to understand.”

“You can’t. They built this world for you, built it to love you. They never cursed at you in the streets, never broke down the doors of your home. They didn’t drag your mother by her neck and hang her for the whole world to see.”

Now that the truth is out, there’s nothing I can do to stop. My chest billows as I sob. My fingers tremble at the terror.

Afraid.

The truth cuts like the sharpest knife I’ve ever known.

No matter what I do, I will always be afraid.

CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE

INAN

ZÉLIE’S PAIN FALLSthrough the air like rain.

It sinks into my skin.

My chest heaves with her sobs. My heart rips with her anguish.

And all the while I feel a terror unlike anything I’ve ever known. It crushes my soul.

It destroys all will to live.

This can’t be her world.…

This can’t be the life Father built. But the longer her pain grips me, the more I realize: this fear is always there.

“If your guards were here, everything would be just as broken, just as hopeless. There’s no living under their tyranny. Our only salvation is power.”

As soon as the words leave her mouth, Zélie’s sobs quiet. It’s like she’s remembered a deeper truth. A way to escape the pain.

“Your people, your guards—they’re nothing more than killers, rapists, and thieves. The only difference between them and criminals is the uniforms they wear.”

She pulls herself to her feet and palms the tears from her eyes.

“Fool yourself all you want, little prince, but don’t feign innocencewith me. I won’t let your father get away with what he’s done. I won’t let your ignorance silence my pain.”

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