Page 199 of Children of Blood and Bone

“Let me go—”

“Think of someone other than yourself! Without the ritual all the divîners will die—”

“We’re already dead!” I shriek. My voice echoes against the dome, revealing the truth I wish I could change.Gods, please!I plead one last time, but nothing happens.

They’ve abandoned me once again.

“My magic’s gone. I thought it would come back, but it hasn’t.…” My voice shrivels and I stare at the floor, biting back the shame. The anger. The pain. How dare the gods force themselves back into my life only to break me this way.

Against everything, I try once more, searching for any remnant of ashêthat might remain. But they’ve discarded me.

I won’t let them take anything else away.

“I’m sorry.” The words are hollow, but they’re all I have. “But if I can’t do the ritual, I’m not going to lose my father.”

Kenyon unhands me. Hatred doesn’t begin to describe the looks I receive from the gathered men. Only Amari’s eyes are sympathetic; even Roën looks taken aback.

I step forward, clutching the sunstone and scroll to my chest. The bone dagger presses into my skin, almost cutting with every step. I’m halfway across the floor when Kenyon yells, “We saved you!” His screams bounce against the walls. “People died for this! People died foryou!”

His words dig into my soul, into everyone I’ve left behind. Bisi. Lekan. Zulaikha. Maybe even Mama Agba.

All dead.

Because they dared to believe in me.

They dared to think we could win.

As I approach Inan, Baba’s shaking grows frantic. I can’t let him break my resolve.I don’t want them to win, Baba.

But I can’t let you die.

I clench the stone and scroll as Inan moves forward, gently guiding Baba ahead. The apology is stark in his amber eyes. Eyes I’ll never trust again.

Why?I itch to scream, but it withers in my throat. With each step, the echo of his kiss presses against my lips and travels down my neck. I stare at his hands on Baba’s shoulders, hands I should’ve crushed. I swore I’d die before I let a guard have his way with me, yet I gave their captain free rein?

I know we’re meant to work together. We’re meant to be together.

His pretty lies play in my ear, each new one drawing more tears.

We’d be unstoppable. A team Orïsha has never seen.

Without him, Ilorin would still stand. Lekan would be alive. I would be here saving my people, not sealing their fate.

As my tears burn, my insides rip raw. It’s worse than the searing of Saran’s knife. Despite everything, I let him in.

Ilet him win.

Baba shakes his head one last time, my last chance to run away. But it’s over now. It ended before it even began.

I pull Baba out of Inan’s grip, dropping the parchment and stone on the floor. I almost reach for the bone dagger, but then I remember Inan has never seen it. I toss out Tzain’s rusted knife instead, keeping thetrue bone dagger hidden in my waistband. I can hold on to this one thing. This one artifact now that he’s taken everything else from me.

“Zélie—”

Before Inan can mutter another treacherous word, I take off Baba’s gag and walk away. As my footsteps echo against the ritual ground, I focus on the statues instead of the hateful glares.

“Why?” Baba sighs. His voice is weak but rough. “Why when you were so close?”

“I was never close.” I choke down a sob. “Never. Not even once.”

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